


Home Is You

by orphan_account



Series: Home is You [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Manipulation, Infantilism, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misha and Jensen are ready to start a family, but haven’t found the perfect boy. Until shy University student Jared walks into Jensen’s office and flashes those dimples. He may just be the perfect candidate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Softly

Jensen sees his dimples, and God, he just knows.

Oh sure, Jensen had been on the look out ever since he and his partner, Misha, decided this was something they wanted to do together. And he took the whole thing extremely serious. But suddenly here it was in front of him. Over six feet of tall, cat-eyed and adorable male is standing in the doorway to his office, offering him a sweet, shy smile and just being so… 

Any doubts he might have had about this whole thing flew out of his mind at that point. He was sure that the kid must have thought he was crazy, the way he was staring. For a moment, neither of them moved and the boy looked like he might just bolt at any moment. Blushing faintly, Jensen quickly composed himself and stood up behind his desk and held out a hand.

“Sorry, its been a long day. I’m Jensen Ackles, welcome to University of New Haven.” He smiled pleasantly, warmth rising in his belly as the kid’s smile only widened.

“Hi, um, Jared. Padalecki, Jared.” He shook Jensen’s hand, shuffling a little awkwardly as they let go. “Hopefully I won’t take up a lot of your time. I mean I can even come back tomorrow or something if you’re tired or whatever.”

Jensen shook his head and gestured for Jared to sit in the chair in front of his desk. He only sat down once the younger man had been seated and smiled sincerely. “Don’t worry about it, this is your time.”

Jensen turned to his computer, typing in Jared’s name, watching as his audit came up on screen, quickly taking in all the information. He glanced over at Jared as he got out a pen and form. “I’m going to go a head and guess you’re from Texas, right? Why’d you decide to come out here for school?”

“Er, well.. I guess I just needed a change of scenery. Get away from my family and  stuff like that. Not that I don’t like my family, but… yeah. Just wanted to do something different.” 

Jared sounded a bit nervous, like he didn’t believe that was a good answer. But for a lot of the out of state students, it was the same thing. They just wanted to have that first taste of freedom somewhere completely different from home. Jared’s obvious embarrassment was endearing though and Jensen worked hard not to show how much it amused him, lest he offend the young man.

 Straightening a bit in his seat, Jensen tried to focus on the matter at hand. “That’s normal enough, I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself here.” He turned away from his computer screen, adjusting his glasses. “So, looks like you have some options. You are an Undeclared major, which isn’t unusual. Anything you have an interest in or might be leaning towards?”

 “I honestly don’t really know.” Jared laughed and rubbed his arm, seeming to think hard. “In High School I focused on sports a lot, I played Basketball. I got some scholarships for schools back home, but…” He shook his head, strands of shaggy brown hair falling in his eyes. “It wasn’t really what I wanted to do.. My parents were really into the whole thing. They wanted me to stay close, play Basketball. Since I’m really tall they figured it was a given. But I got good enough grades that…”

 Suddenly the young man blinked and blushed. “I started to ramble didn’t I? I am so sorry…”

 Jensen just smiled and shook his head. “Its okay, Jared. I like getting to know the students I’m helping. Basketball, hm? I can definitely see that.”

 “Mmn… I guess if I had to pick – maybe like History or English? Those were my best subjects in school. I figured I could be like a Teacher or something if I really can’t think of something.”

 Jensen raised an eyebrow. “Well we don’t want you to just fallback on that, you should spend freshman year looking into different things. You want to be happy with what you end up doing at the end of these four years.”

 Jared nodded, looking a little flushed and definitely embarrassed, Jensen was completely enthralled He went through the official spiel, helping Jared set up some basic classes. He had actually done well in several classes, and his AP credits for English and History had transferred. He slid the pen and form over to Jared so that he could fill things out as they talked. Jensen then took the time to study the young man. He was tall, and lean – but definitely had a bit of muscle from when he played Basketball. He had gorgeous hazel eyes, cat-like and bright. They were so easy to read, lighting up whenever he smiled or laughed. His hair was silky smooth, and he obviously took good care of it. It reached just past his ears, messy bangs covering his eyes as he hunched over the paper he was scrawling on.

 He was beautiful, which was why Jensen’s attraction to him was so strange. It wasn’t what he and Misha were looking for at all, not to mention the fact that he was _this_ young. Jared was tall, broad and gorgeous, but there was something about him, that suggested a child-like youth and gentleness. Big as he was, Jensen would swear even having met him for five minutes he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Jared didn’t hold back when he smiled or laughed, something the boy seemed to be embarrassed about. The way he folded into himself told Jensen that he still wasn’t completely comfortable with his size. He guessed that in High School Jared had shot up within a short time and even now was getting use to his body and might even still be growing. In his mind’s eye, Jensen could see it, a few extra meals and less strenuous activity and Jared could get some baby fat on his body – making those dimples even more adorable and prominent.

God, he was already so far gone for this kid.

He really wanted this to be over, if only so that he could call Misha and tell him. At the same time he didn’t want to let Jared out of his sight.

“I’ve still got some spaces here…” Jared looked up finally. “I’m not sure what I should pick. I only really glanced over my choices. I know I should have done more research.” He looked a little guilty at the admission.

“Its okay, how about you take this home and think about it. Theres a catalogue online you can look through, I’ll email you the link even. Then we can schedule another appointment, alright?” Jensen looked through his appointments for his other Advisees.

 “I’ll feel terrible if I take up all of your time, Mr. Ackles…” Jared said softly, eyes imploring and sweet.

 “I really don’t mind, Jared. I’m here to help you out. I’ve got plenty of time.”

 “Okay… Um, can I have maybe two days? Just to be sure.”

 “Sure, can you come at 11am on Thursday?”

 “Y-yeah, I live on campus. That’s perfect. Thank you, Mr. Ackles.”

 “No problem, and you can call me Jensen if you want.” Jensen smiled and quickly typed in Jared’s name. “I’m not your teacher, I’m an advisor, I’m here to help you out and give friendly advice, alright?”

 “Right, thanks.” Jared stood up, that bright smile gracing his face. “See you on Thursday, Mr. A – Jensen.”

 “See you, Jared. I’ll be emailing you.”

 Jared lifted his hand in a sort of shy wave and quickly headed out the door, shutting it gently behind him. Jensen stared for a while, not sure how to react. He wanted to get on his knees and thank every deity he knew, dance around the room like a lunatic even. Luckily he had more decorum than that, and more importantly he needed to let Misha know the news.

 He’d found their boy.

   

Jensen was practically buzzing by time he got home. He managed to get a copy of Jared’s ID picture, which thankfully featured his adorable dimples (God, he had an obsession now). He had to keep himself from speeding home once he had locked up the office. He had spent a good hour on the phone with his Partner, describing the encounter with Jared in excruciating detail, from his kind and gentle temperament, to his his gorgeous eyes and bright smile. He could hear Misha’s amusement at the enthusiasm in his voice, but he could also hear the genuine excitement from the older man as well.

Really, this was Misha’s dream at the beginning. He had confessed it a few months into their relationship when they had both been slightly tipsy one night. It wasn’t enough to spill their darkest secrets, but Misha had been planning on telling him this dream of his eventually. Jensen had been young back then, in his last year of college when Misha had been in Grad School, and he remembered thinking it was weird – but he had been interested enough to stick around for an explenation. The way Misha talked about what he wanted was beautiful really; he had the whole thing planned out, something that he had wanted for years. Jensen had listened to Misha, finding himself lulled into the security of the future Misha was telling him about.

 After that night they didn’t talk about it. Jensen wasn’t really sure if he was supposed to bring up the ‘drunken’ confession, nor what he was supposed to say about it. Eventually though, he found himself thinking more and more about it, at night he had strange domestic dreams of himself and Misha and their ‘baby’. It had freaked him out in the beginning once he was sober, but then he couldn’t help but be curious. A few Google searches later and he found out more about it, words like ‘infantilism’ and ‘adult baby’. A lot of it was sexual, which Misha had never mentioned in his plans, and the idea made him extremely uncomfortable.

 Eventually he confronted his boyfriend and asked him about what he specifically wanted for his future and what it would mean. Misha had seemed pleasantly surprised at his interest and explained exactly what he wanted as well as explaining the other things Jensen had found during his web searching and the rest, as they say, was history. Misha had been thrilled and introduced him to the online infantilism community that he was a part of. It had been awkward and embarrassing at first and it was a long time before he could even thinking of posting the multitude of questions he had. But the more he lurked around forums, the more stories he read – the more he found himself wanting this for himself. Eventually he admitted to Misha it was something he might want, and they researched it even more together, they even spent time during the summer to visit a Center and talk with other Parents and caregivers. That especially was enlightening, and if anything made them both beyond a doubt sure that this was what they would pursue someday.

 Jensen smiled fondly, at the thought of after all those years it would finally be happening; they were going to be Parents. He knew as soon as he got inside where to find his Partner. He left his bag on the couch and headed up the stairs to the end of the hall. A light was on, glowing through the slightly cracked door. Jensen slowed his approach, knocking lightly before opening it.

He couldn’t help but smile as he saw Misha, standing in the middle of the room seemingly contemplating the walls. He was dressed in paint stained sweatpants and one of Jensen’s worn band shirts. His unruly dark hair was sticking up at odd angles and dripping slightly, suggesting he had showered not to long ago. For a moment, Jensen just stood there and took it all in, how natural it all looked, his lover standing in the middle of their baby’s room. Misha already looked like he was in ‘Dad’ mode, and the thought made his heart swell with love. 

The room had been re-arranged a bit and he knew the excitement probably had his Partner going through all the things they had bought years ago, checking their sturdiness, checking what other supplies they would need. The room was painted pale green, with yellow trimmings. At the time they had decided they wanted a boy, though Misha insisted that he didn’t want their boy to be ‘suffocated’ by manliness, so they chose a ‘neutral’ color. The large adult sized crib sat to the farthest wall, a mobile hanging from the ceiling above it featuring airplanes and clouds. A comfortable couch with pillows and stuffed animals sat at the opposite wall. Under the single window was a toy-chest, one of the first things they had bought and filled. A dresser stood next to the door. It had been empty since they got it, just like the closet and it sent a thrill up Jensen’s spine to know those would soon be filled.

He approached Misha slowly, wrapping his arms around the shorter man from behind and pulling his partner against his chest. Jensen felt the older man sigh and lean against him, a smile in his voice as he said. “I’m thinking of painting Giraffes. Will he like those?”

Jensen laughed gently, thinking of how tall Jared was and nodded. “I’m sure he will love them.” Misha turned in his arms, smiling brilliantly, bright blue eyes sparkling with an magnitude of liveliness he had not seen in a long time.

 Jensen hurriedly reached into his pocket and took out Jared’s printed picture, handing it to his Partner eagerly. “Wait until you meet him, Misha, god he’s adorable.”

Misha grinned wirily as he took the paper. “I could tell how enraptured you were over the phone.” He looked at the picture, eyebrows lifting a bit, but he didn’t look displeased. “He’s beautiful, Jen. His eyes… Oh wow, now I see why you fell in love with this face. That smile…” He smirked and looked up at Jensen suddenly. “And a student, look at you breaking the rules.” 

Jensen shrugged unapologetically; he really couldn’t help but believe it was fate at this point. And he honestly wasn’t that much of a stickler for rules. No, there was only one thing he was really worried about. As much as he would love to make it a done deal, Jensen knew it should ultimately be Misha’s decision in the end. The older man would be the one home with Jared for the most part, cutting back on his hours at work to stay home with their boy during the day.

 ‘Jensen.” Misha’s eyes suddenly soften, and he smiled gently. He cupped Jensen’s face and pulled him down to touch their foreheads together. “This is actually happening, Jen. This is amazing.” 

Jensen just grinned, arms automatically wrapping around his Partner tightly. The older man raised an eyebrow and Jensen just shook his head, leaning down to kiss him gently. Nothing felt more right than this moment, and there was no way Jensen could properly express how he was feeling with words. He gently pushed Misha against the wall, kissing him soundly and smiling against his lips as his partner’s arms came around him, the picture still gripped tightly in his hand. 

They had a lot to talk about, a lot to prepare – but for now? They didn’t need words – just to know their dream was finally going to come true.

 

There were too many people in the world who were never hugged enough as children.

This, Misha felt, was a Universal truth in itself, and he contested that most problems most likely stemmed from some sort of childhood trauma. Psychology itself was a field with varying views and approaches to dealing with the neurosis of the human species and Misha was no stranger to being considered ‘melodramatic’ about his own opinions and findings when it came to his fellow scholars. However Misha had also successfully published several books and got paid extremely well by the hour to listen to the problems of obscenely rich people, who more often than not wanted to hear ‘Yes, your parents were shit and should have hugged you more and everybody else in the world are just peasants who can’t understand your highly evolved intuition’. Thus he didn’t really care much for what his colleagues might say about his work. Now that he was rather successful and in his thirties, Misha supposed he had finally become jaded like many people in his field. He had a comfortable job, and his real focus and passion now lay with his Partner and the family they planned to build together.

The fact that everything was suddenly running full-speed a head had thrown him for a loop for about five seconds before he was going right along with it. Misha had never doubted Jensen’s commitment to their future famly, but he had always assumed that he himself would be the one who found their boy and started moving ahead with the plan to bring him into their lives. Jensen was a busy man after all, during the school year he held long hours, sitting behind a desk and listening to the sob stories or angry raging of teenagers and adults a like as he tried to sort out their problems. He always seemed tired even talking about the work he did at New Haven, so hearing his excitement over the kid he found during work hours?

It had to be a sign.

Misha had honestly never seen Jensen this excited in years, except when they had time to themselves and that wasn’t very often. But nowadays, every evening he came home from work talking about Jared and what supplies they would need, what he wanted to do and how much he already cared for the younger man. After his second meeting with Jared, Jensen had practically come home floating. Apparently the boy was chatty, once he got over the initial shyness and told Jensen about how much he loved sweets and cakes and that’s why he ran every other morning to keep in shape. Another trait, which Jensen described with fondness, was Jared’s tendency to ramble. The boy had unconsciously spilled exactly where and when he went running and Misha knew it was the perfect opportunity to observe. 

It was nearly 7 AM, and a few people were already out walking their dogs or exercising. Misha sat on a park bench, a tumbler of warm tea in one hand and a book in the other. Normally he would never be up this early, but it was definitely worth it to get a glimpse of the lovely Jared. He busied himself reading and sipping on his tea, occasionally scanning around the park for boy – figuring he’d spot the tall teenager from a mile away.

Misha ended up only needing to wait another ten minutes or so before he spotted Jared, entering the park and not really paying attention to his surroundings. The young man had his earbuds in and was scrolling away at his Ipod, walking at a slight angle before stopping near a tree and clipping the Ipod to his arm. Misha watched over his book at the boy did a few stretches, having to move his shaggy hear out of his eyes every time he bent over. He really was a fine specimen, lean and long, he seemed a bit clumsy – but a few more years in his skin and he’d have a sort of natural grace.

He definitely wasn’t what Misha had in mind, but the way Jensen kept talking about him, he would be damned if he didn’t try and see it (And really, he had already sort of fallen in love with those dimples). 

Misha watched, and read and drank his tea – all in rotation as Jared did his work out. The boy ended up doing six laps around the park before he stopped across from Misha’s bench, breathing heavily and looking a bit wobbly. From there, Misha could see his bright eyes and beautiful mouth. He had an incredibly gentle face, despite its traditional handsomeness, but a little more baby fat would make him positively adorable. Forming a plan, Misha set his book down on the bench, drinking down the last of his tea and getting up to walk away. If Jensen was right about Jared’s personality… 

“Um, excuse me… Wait, please!”

Aha. Misha turned and raised an eyebrow as the younger man came towards him carrying the book he’d left on the bench. Jared was still flushed and looked a bit sheepish when he finally reached Misha. “Hi, um, I think you forgot this… Maybe?”

Misha looked at the book, and then looked at Jared – taking in those bright, hazel eyes and gently smiling mouth.

_Oh, Jensen._

“Yes, thank you… I hadn’t noticed I left it.” He reached to take the book from Jared’s hand, smiling a bit. “My tea hasn’t quite woken me up yet.”

“You drink tea?” Jared grinned brilliantly this time and Misha could swear his heart was glowing, just seeing those dimpled cheeks up close. “That’s really cool. I’ve heard tea was better for you than coffee, and I’d love to drink that instead of coffee. Its hard to stop though, I’m just so used to my coffee fix – though I’ve stopped drinking it on the days I run. I figure running is enough of a….” He suddenly stopped and blushed. “S-sorry, I tend to…”

“Ramble? Its fine, its cute even.” Misha said honestly. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before, are you new in town?” 

“Um, yeah, I go to New Haven, I’m a freshman and just moved in a few weeks ago.”

“Mmn, I see. My name’s Misha. I come here everyone morning to people watch under the guise of reading my book.” Misha chuckled a little. “Before you say anything, no you didn’t do anything awkward or embarrassing.”

“Oh…” Jared seemed to flush even more, not sure what to make of what he was hearing. The fact that he didn’t immediately make an excuse and run off was promising enough. “Um, so that’s why you forgot your book, huh? I’m Jared.”

“Like ‘he went to Jared’, Jared?” Misha grinned. “I think I may have heard about you. My Partner, Jensen was telling me about some kid who came in not having a clue about their schedule or what they wanted to do.”

“Oh God…” Jared ducked his head and his whole body seemed to sag  “Hes my advisor. He has been way too patient with me. I keep asking for help, and trying to figure out what I should be doing. Theres just so much to choose, and I don’t want to screw up and pick something totally irrelevant, then have to take an extra semester later because I needed to take a bunch of ….”

“Whoa, Jared, relax.” Misha tucked his book under his arm and touched the young man’s arm. “It was a joke, I swear. Jensen thinks your really sweet and you aren’t annoying him at all, I promise. Hes really looking forward to helping you out.”

Jared looked surprised, eyes widening and finally looking at Misha directly. “Really?”

“Really, really. Don’t worry about it.” He squeezed Jared’s arm gently then let go. “Which way are you headed, Jared?”

“Um, dorm’s that way.” He pointed in the direction he had entered the park.

“I’ll walk with you then. I need to go that way too.”

“Is that, um, are you sure? Since Jensen’s my advisor…” Jared mumbled, reaching up to brush a hand through his nervously.

Misha rolled his eyes and pulled him to start walking. “I am in no way affiliated with the school except for Jensen, and its not like he is one of your Professors, God help you if he was.”

 Jared laughed a little at that and shook his head. “Hes really patient, he seems like he would be a good teacher.” Jared kept a slow pace with Misha, taking his earbuds out and stashing them in his pocket.

“He is patient with you, because he likes you.”

They made small talk a few blocks to the dorms, Misha finding out that Jared had decided to focus mostly on History. The younger man ended up rambling a bit about the Prohibition era, strangely enough, before getting thoroughly embarrassed and keeping quiet for the remainder of the walk. Misha left him at his dorm with a wave, telling him he might see him some other morning and making a mental note to bring an extra mug of tea for the next time. Because he had already decided that there would indeed be a next time.

It was infectious, Misha decided as he walked away, that personality of Jared’s. He felt like he was glowing, more awake from the conversation with Jared then tea could ever make him. The kid was made of pure sugar and sunshine and the happy yips of a thousand puppies. And yes, Misha wanted to have this kid – he wanted him with a ferocity he didn’t think he would ever be able to feel. But damn if he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He and Jensen hadn’t gotten to talk about any sort of plan at all, especially not for this situation Misha knew that once this initial wave of excitement died down, the real hard part would begin. How were they going to convince Jared to come and be their baby?

He supposed that there were some things that made the situation easier. Jared was so innocently sweet and open, easy to trust and eager to please. He hadn’t questioned once if Misha really knew Jensen, just accepted it at face value. Maybe that’s how Jared was about most things? All there was to do was plan with Jensen and keep speaking with Jared and getting the boy to trust them until everything came together.


	2. Careful

“Its been three months, Jen.” Misha sighed, as he fell onto the bed with a bounce. He looked over at his boyfriend who was still on his laptop, typing away and frowned. Moving closer, he leaned his cheek on Jensen’s shoulder, trying to see what he was writing. “Jen, talk to me. This is important.”

Jensen stopped typing to glance at him, trying his hardest to look annoyed, but failing. He just leaned over and kissed Misha on the forehead, smiling softly. He knew the older man had been going nearly twice a week to talk and have tea with Jared in the mornings. He was almost jealous of the freedom Misha had to pursue a personal relationship with the younger man.

Not that Jensen didn’t get his fair share of Jared from school. Mostly they corresponded by email, and charmingly enough, Jared wrote his emails just like he talked. Jensen’s simple question of ‘How are classes going?’ had gotten him a nearly five-paragraph response, talking about Jared’s classes and teachers in extreme detail. On Tuesdays, Jared had a late class and Jensen would see him walking to his dorm and wave, or stop and chat.

He could now safely say that he was more than a little bit in love with Jared, and he was pretty sure Misha wasn’t far behind.

“I know, Mish. I get it – I’ve been busy, but trust me, I’ve been thinking about it.” Jensen sent the email and looked through his saved messages. “I’ve been emailing Beth from the Center actually, asking her some questions.”

Misha sat up at that, peering at the screen as Jensen opened the email conversation.

“I’ve been asking her some basic questions, and I even asked about us coming for another visit. Maybe more hands on? Just so that we can start practicing…” Jensen couldn’t help the smile that entered his voice as he spoke.

“Sounds good. And I’m glad you’ve been reaching out, because I have to.” Misha quickly took the laptop and typed in a website address that Jensen didn’t recognize. It was some sort of forum, the thing was completely members only. He watched curiously as his boyfriend logged in and opened something from his inbox.

“So the only flaw in our plan is the fact that Jared probably doesn’t even know this sort of thing exists. From what hes told me about his family they are as straightedge as they come, almost suffocating so, actually…”

Jensen nodded in agreement; he had avoided thinking about that one important detail as well. How the hell where they going to tell Jared that they wanted to adopt him and keep him as their baby? It would take time to build up the type of trust where you could admit that. And as sweet and understanding as Jared was, even he wouldn’t be willing to stick around for an explanation of that.

“A lot of people find their babies through ads and forums like these. But other people find different ways.” Misha tapped the keyboard, and seemed to be thinking of how to phrase his next sentence. “This forum has a lot of those types. Like Cliff, who I’ve been talking to. He and his wife got into this together. Jake’s wife worked in a diner and she would always tell him about this girl on the corner begging for money. They found out she had been kicked out of her house at 18 because her parents no longer waned to have responsibility for her. Apparently she had a very hard childhood and they decided they wanted to give it back to her, starting from birth. Basically they ended up just grabbing her one night and taking her, since they couldn’t think of a way to explain it. They considered it a sort of ‘rebirthing process’, when she woke up in a new place with new parents, she had been ‘born again’, ready to start a new life with loving parents. At first she resisted, but eventually she realized her life was much better and she just let it all go and let them nurture her.”

Jensen was quiet for a long time, reading over Misha’s shoulder. Eventually he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Misha that’s illegal… if anyone found out, God..”

“Jen, we picked this place so that no one would find out.” Misha said gently. He bit his lip and scrolled through the forum and clicked on a few links. “I know it sounds bad, Jen, but this ‘Rebirthing’ thing, it sounds really good. Almost inspiring even…”

“Jared doesn’t need to be a completely new person. He isn’t some street kid that nobody cares about; we can’t just take him and never tell anyone. It doesn’t work like that. His family for one…”

“Told him that unless he moved back to Texas, took a full scholarship and married a nice girl he didn’t need to talk to them ever again.” Misha sounded almost smug, but mostly bitter.

Jensen blinked and stared at Misha, mouth opening and closing in shock. “What?”

“It’s a typical story, isn’t it?” MIsha said quietly. “Kid realizes hes gay and decides he wants to take a break and figure out what to do with his life and his straightedge parents don’t know how to deal with it. The worst part is how sweet about the whole thing he is, like theres no helping it or that its own his fault. He says one day he might go back and face them, because he misses them. Growing up wasn’t easy for him, Jen, he just hides it well because he doesn’t want to burden others.”

“He told me he just needed a change of scenery.” There was a painful knot forming in his stomach. The thought of Jared carrying that type of burden was horrifying.

“That’s because you’re his Advisor.” Misha smiled a little ruefully. “I’m his friend. He made me promise not to tell you, because he was afraid you’d recommend he see the University’s Counselor. You should have seen his face when I told him I was a psychiatrist.”

“Its almost like you want to scare him off.” Jensen bit his lip, contemplating. The overwhelming sense of wrong had faded a bit, and he couldn’t help but think about the idea now. The possibility that just whisking him away could be a good thing for Jared. Often he wonders how Jared fairs in a world so harsh and unforgiving with all of his naïveté and innocence in tact. The thought of some one coming along and crushing that such a beautiful heart makes Jensen’s own heart swell with rage and sorrow. He would do anything to protect that innocence.

And suddenly there it is, the overwhelming need to swaddle Jared and lock him away somewhere safe.

There was no denying it at this point, it was Jared or nothing.

“Jared… is still unsure about what he wants to do with his future. He just knew he wanted to get away from his family.” Jensen said quietly, half to himself. He felt Misha slide a hand over his shoulder, moving to gently massage the back of his neck. Jensen hummed a little, closing his eyes at the sensation. “Misha..”

“He needs us, Jen. You have to know that.” Misha closed the laptop and pushed it to the side. He gently eased his partner down and stroked a thumb over his cheek. “He was so willing to trust me, we talk every single week. He needs people, Jensen. Why do you think he keeps coming to you? Why do you think he brightens up whenever you walk by? Jared is the type who seeks validation and praise. You should see him flush when I talk about how impressed you are with him.”

Jensen nodded, leaning into Misha’s touch, kissing gently his fingertips – but not opening his eyes. He already knew everything that his partner was explaining to him. Jared was just so easy to read, he wore his heart on his sleeve and there was no such thing as hidden emotions in those eyes that could go from cat-like beautiful to adorable puppy dog in an instant. This world wasn’t good enough for Jared Padalecki, and the boy certainly deserved more than he had right now. How was living in a crappy dorm room and having an estranged family anywhere near what he deserved?

“He deserves to be taken care of.” Jensen said finally, feeling a warmth flow through him. It was the truth, and damn if he wasn’t the one to give him everything the world could offer.

Misha smiled and reached over him to turn off the bedside lamp. He curled into Jensen’s side, one hand sitting over the younger man’s heart, head on his shoulder. There was silence for a while, as they lay there – both contemplating, a sort of peacefulness settling over them.

“Needs to be taken care of.” Misha murmured gently, kissing Jensen gently before closing his eyes.

 

Rebirthing.

Jensen had read nearly everything there was to know about it on that forum, and he couldn’t help but be somewhat impressed. It was almost spiritual in a way, and it didn’t surprise him why Misha had taken an interest in it. It was a way to wipe the slate of every negative thing that had ever happened to that person. Then start them over completely new, introducing them to new sensations slowly and one at a time as they slowly gained a new awareness of their life and surroundings. The idea of being the one to introduce Jared to sight, sound, touch and even taste was so damn appealing. He couldn’t imagine many parents planned out their children’s first experiences so specifically – but with something like this, they could make every first, every life experience so perfect and positive. He wanted that for Jared so badly.

Later in his office as he filed papers, Jensen couldn’t help but think of the first thing he wanted Jared to hear. He had played guitar since middle school, and while he didn’t have time to practice often, he knew with Jared there it was something he would want him to experience. He could sing him to sleep every night, make him smile when he was sad, calm him when he threw tantrums. He wanted music to be important to Jared – and he had a feeling the younger man would like it as well. He rarely saw Jared without his IPod attached to some part of his body, earbuds never just in one ear – always both.

Knowing Misha however, he would want to do something stereotypical and play Beethoven and Mozart.

Jensen shook his head, but couldn’t help but smile. If Misha insisted, there was no way he would be able to say no. Misha’s newfound friendship with Jared, and his fervor for the boy’s arrival had the older man staying up until all hours of the night and waking up at ungodly hours in the morning. After somehow finding out what size clothes Jared wore (How had that even come up in conversation?) and put in an order for seven jumpers, all custom, one for each day of the week, though not necessarily meant to be worn in a certain order, as Misha had adamantly pointed out. He was still deciding on more specific things like pacifiers and mitts, determined to get whatever was the best quality and most comfortable- no matter the cost. Jensen was with him on that, which was why he was letting Misha take the lead on this whole thing. It seemed to make his partner immensely happy and as long as he got updates along the way, it was fine.

At the rate they were going, Jensen knew they could possibly be ready by the end of Christmas break if they were really determined to get him home sooner than later. However Misha suggested waiting until Spring Break, just so that they’d have time to visit the Center and get handling tips. But Spring Break was too awkward of a time for Jared to ‘leave school’, and eventually they had decided on the end of the school year. Despite how far away that seemed, it would make Jensen’s job of covering up Jared’s tracks that much easier. It would be absolutely normal for Jared to decide college wasn’t going to work out for him after a year of trying and that he was going home. There was nothing suspicious about it – in fact the only thing they had to watch out for was if Jared ended up making any personal friends. So far the younger man seemed absolutely dedicated to his school work, and from what he told Misha, he mostly made acquaintances in class but had yet to really find people to ‘hang out’ with.

Jensen could have sworn it was fate by how easily things were coming together. But really he was sure it was just the calm before the storm. Babies who were more forcefully taken often fought any type of care of kindness shown to them. Believing that they were going to be hurt in some way. It was natural human instinct to think the worst, even when nothing terrible was happening. He knew that would be the hardest part for him, watching Jared struggle to let go of his old life and embrace his new one. It would be so easy if people allowed themselves to be loved and nurtured without a fuss, but then again if everyone were so docile and accepting the world would certainly be a boring place. Jensen would just have to remind himself that it was worth it. That eventually Jared wouldn’t fight being changed and washed, or bottle-fed and read-to. That they would be a happy family together.

Jensen had no idea how he was going to be able to handle waiting until the end of the school year.

He checked his email, seeing if Jared had sent him anything. Apparently Jared had told Misha about his love for all animals, especially dogs. Misha, loving partner that he was, told Jared that Jensen loved videos of cute kittens. And so out of the blue, he would occasionally get a video of a kitten playing peekaboo or being scared of its own reflection in the mirror. While Jensen didn’t have any particular feelings towards cats, he could appreciate how cute they were and especially appreciate that it was Jared sending them.

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly, Jensen getting his work done as painlessly as possible while trying not to get too distracted. By time five o’clock rolled around he couldn’t help but sigh and relief, Fridays were without a doubt the best day of his week. Jensen would go home and he and Misha would order out and spend some quality time together. He knew his Partner thought that he was working too hard, considering the amount of money Misha’s books were bringing in, but then again Misha thought most normal non-semi-famous people worked too hard.

Jensen smiled a little as he packed his things in his bag, usually the beginning of the school year practically burned him out. But there was just so much good in his life right now, he couldn’t imagine being unhappy. He stepped out into the crisp November air and hummed gently, tugging his coat closer to his body. The change from summer often seemed to creep up on him more suddenly than he would like, Jensen mused idly as he headed toward the parking lot.

As he approached, he saw to figures standing beside his car. Jensen squinted, trying to make them out and wishing he hadn’t tucked his glasses away already. He definitely had his permit in full view, and they didn’t look like they were about to steal it. As he stepped onto the concrete, his eyes widened as he recognized that it was Misha and Jared, neither of them seeming to notice his approach. He picked up speed, unable to hide his confusion as he reached them.

“Jensen, finally. I know how much you love your work, but I was getting worried.” Misha smirked, but kindly reached over to take Jensen’s bag from his shoulder. “You had Jared waiting out here for hours.”

Jared blushed, mumbling something under his breath and looking so much like the kitten who was afraid of its own reflection that Jensen was sure he was going to bolt. Instead the tall boy just ducked his head. “I was only waiting for ten minutes. I wanted to give you something to say thank you for all you and Misha have done for me. I tried to give it to Misha, but he thought I should stay and give it to you in person.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow at his partner, who just shrugged and picked up something from the hood of the car. “Jared made pie.” Misha sounded proud for Jared, while the younger man blushed and shrugged jerkily.

“Jared…” Jensen’s eyes softened as he looked at Jared, not knowing what to say. He’d had students give him Thank You Notes sometimes, but no one had ever made anything for him. There was no way anyone could be as perfect as Jared, how was he even an actual living breathing person? “This is amazing, thank you. You know you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know, but you’ve been so helpful.” Jared said, smiling and tilting his head a bit. “I mean I send you stupid cat videos and clog up your inbox talking about history stuff that isn’t even interesting. And I know you must be tired of it, because you’ve got so much to do and its your work email, but I can’t just ask for your actual email because that would be rude and kind of awkward and I’m sure you only talk to me to be polite, because even if Misha says you aren’t patient, you really are –“

Misha’s hand was suddenly covering Jared’s mouth, and for his part Jared seemed more apologetic than shocked by it.

“Basically he says your welcome.” Misha smiled and moved his hand, patting Jared’s shoulder gently. “And I for one can’t wait to eat it because it looks delicious.”

Jensen watched as Jared smiled warmly, dimples on full display. Misha was right about that the boy really was the type that liked to please. That pie could be the most disgusting thing in the world and Jensen would eat all of it, just to keep Jared smiling like that.

“Any big plans for the weekend, Jared?” Jensen asked curiously. He expected the standard ‘doing homework’ that he was used to getting, most students not wanting to admit they were going out to party.

“Um, not really. Theres a free screening of Metropolis on Saturday that I may go too.” Jared shrugged. “I got invited to a party tonight, but I don’t think I’ll go. I just want to find something to eat and I’ll stay in and play games or something. I’m kind of lame.”

“Me and Jen usually go out for dinner on Fridays, you should come with.” Misha hadn’t moved his hand from Jared’s shoulder and he was sure that he might physically just force Jared into the car if he didn’t agree. “We could go to Ruby’s Diner.”

“Uh huh.” Jensen said and looked at Jared who seemed uncomfortable with the suggestion. “I don’t see the problem.”

“You’re my advisor…” Jared said, as though they hadn’t gone through the whole ‘I don’t actually control your grades or even your schedule really’ thing.

“Jared, you send me cute kitten videos and hang out with my boyfriend. I think we’ve past the ‘just an advisor’ stage.”

“Oooh, you haven’t called me your boyfriend in ages.” Misha raised an eyebrow and smirked a little. He shook Jared’s shoulder a bit. “How is it any different from when you go out in the mornings?”

“Um...” Jared bit his lip and looked from Misha to Jensen. Finally he shrugged and nodded. “I’d like something that wasn’t fast food anyway.”

Jensen nodded and unlocked the car, watching as Misha opened the backdoor for Jared, making sure the kid didn’t hit his head as he ducked in. The ride to the diner was quiet, Misha asking about Jensen’s day, as Jensen tried not being too distracted with watching Jared in his rear-view mirror. There was just something right about the three of them in the car like this. With he and Misha talking about work and Jared looking fascinated as he watched out the window despite the fact that they were just passing through the regular shops of the town. It was the little things for Jared, and there was something so sweet about that.

The dinner was beginning to fill up as they parked. They were seated quickly though, Jared slid in on one-side, while Misha sat on the other. Jensen considered it only for a second before sitting next to Jared, looking over at the younger man and shrugging. Jared gave him a nervous laugh and fiddled with the menu the hostess had given him. Things were quiet as they assessed the menu, until their perky Hostess came by to take their orders.

“Hello, my name is Riley, welcome to Ruby’s. Can I start you out with anything to drink?”

They ordered their drinks and Riley went off with a smile and a promise to return as soon as possible.

Suddenly Jared spoke up, putting his menu down on the table. “Do you drink tea at every meal, Misha?”

“I swear I’m not addicted. I do prefer it with most of my major meals though.” Misha grinned, looking pleased. “And what kind of college student are you? Just getting water?”

Jared blushed, looking down. “Its cheaper than soda. I’m trying not to spend too much money until I can find a job.”

“You’re looking for a job?” Jensen asked, closing his own menu. “You should have said, I’ve got information on work-study as well.”

“Really? I figured you had to sign up for that when you enrolled. I would have if I had known…” Jared stopped suddenly and his eyes flicked to Misha. “Things aren’t so good with my parents anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Jared.” Jensen said softly. “I’ll email you the work study forms this weekend, if you want.”

“I would like that, thank you.” Jared smiled a little.

“Well, that’s all settled and accounted for. I’ll make sure he doesn’t forget, Jay.” Misha grinned suddenly. “Jay, I like it. Can I call you Jay?”

“Sure, a lot of people do after a while.” Jared shrugged, but seemed pleased to move on from talking about the previous topic.

Their waitress came back with their drinks, and took their orders. Misha stopped he just before she went away, ordering a chocolate milkshake with whipped cream. Before Jared could protest she was off, the sudden pick up in the diner leaving her with no time to idle.

“Misha, you can’t do that!” Jared exclaimed. “You already bring me tea every morning when I go running.”

“I can do that, and in fact I just did.” He smirked, looking far too pleased with himself. “And I’m not drinking it, and Jensen doesn’t like milkshakes. You wouldn’t let it go to waste would you?”

“You are so cruel. I can’t resist that.” Jared frowned and seemed to be thinking. “I’m gonnna bake you another pie, no, two more pies for thankgiving even.”

“Go right a head. I’ll start bringing breakfast with your tea.” Misha threatened teasingly. “I’ll start bringing Jensen too. And he’ll run with you.”

“He will?” Jensen said sitting up from drinking his coke. “I wasn’t aware that Jensen liked to run.”

“Well I’m hoping he does more than just stretch when he uses the Gym Membership his partner so lovingly gave him.” Misha said innocently. “After he complained so much that he was getting fat and needed to work out.”

Jared giggled, then covered his mouth quickly. The boy cleared his throat and said. “If you come running with me you wouldn’t even need the membership.”

Jensen was surprised by the admission, considering how resistant Jared usually was about their even talking. “You wouldn’t mind that?”

“Well, maybe not you are my ad—“ Jensen groaned out loud and Jared immediately flushed and said quickly. “Okay, okay. No, I don’t mind.”

“And I will sit on the bench dutifully watching out for the both of you.” Misha said, raising his mug in a sort of toast. “To both of you getting a good workout.”

From there, the conversation flowed easily as Jared talked about, why he needed to run, describing his voracious appetite. It Jared were to be believed, he ate more than Misha and Jensen did a day – and had an awful addiction to sweets and baking delicious desserts. That got him talking a bit more about his family, admitting that he learned many of his recipes from his late grandmother, though neither of his parents had appreciated his talent for cooking and especially hadn’t liked it when he decided to take home economics instead of woodshop. He seemed sad when he talked about his parents, but then he moved onto his siblings and he brightened a bit at that. Though he hadn’t heard from them in a while, his sister sometimes sent him texts to say what she was up to.

Their food came in a reasonable amount of time, Jared having ordered the biggest and most stuffed burger on the menu with onion rings to boot. He seemed happy as a clam tearing into it, eating with an enthusiasm that Jensen rarely saw. He even grinned at the milkshake when Misha slid it over to him – shyly offering Misha to try before he got the straw greasy.

Jensen tried not to outright stare as he ate his steak, instead talking to Misha as they ate in a somewhat more subdued manner. Eventually Misha’s eyes flickered over to Jared and he tutted, blue eyes warm as he picked up his napkin and reached across the table.

“You eat the burger, not wear it.” Misha said, wiping at the younger man’s mouth. “I’m guessing it was good?”

Jared stiffed, his face turning read and eyes widening. He looked for the life of him like he was about to bolt. “Um, yeah. I should go…” His eyes flickered to Jensen, wide and pleading. “N-not leaving, just to the bathroom.”

“Jared, its fine. You should just finish up.” Jensen said gently. “Don’t let Misha scare you off.”

“I eat like a five year old.” Jared stressed, sounding like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. “I swear this isn’t how I eat every meal. I’m not some sort of heathen I just….like food.”

Jensen shrugged. “You like food the way Misha likes tea – at least I get where you are coming from.”

“I refuse to be bullied by you, Jensen. I stand by my obsession.” Misha maintained loftily, finishing his own food.

Jared leaned away, grabbing his napkin and wiping his face quickly, but looking more comfortable. He let himself start to relax, pushing away the plate and picking up the milkshake, taking slow sips. Jensen gave him a smile, and rolled his eyes toward Misha who was holding his tea towards him protectively, pretending not to even notice their presence.

“He will never understand our love, Earl Grey.”

Jensen leaned towards Jared and whispered. “He doesn’t even like Earl Grey. Its just all they have here.”

Jared couldn’t help the laugh that exploded from him at that point, his eyes squinting in pleasure, as he tried to contain it. He was sure people were staring at him – but he couldn’t help it. These two were just so normal, it was cute and sweet and it felt right. His experience with relationships narrowed down to what he had seen at High School, on TV and from his own parents. While they had loved each other, they would have never bantered like this – not without someone’s feelings getting hurt. What he wouldn’t give to have a relationship like this.

He felt water pricking at his eyes, as he quieted down, a big smile spread across his face. Advisor or not, at this point Jared didn’t care. These were two people who had become surprisingly important to him over the course of a few months, and he was so grateful. They were definitely getting two pies and a batch of chocolate cookies for Thanksgiving.

 

Thanksgiving came and went uneventfully. Jared made good on his promise to make them two pies and a batch of cookies, declining their offer to spend Thanksgiving dinner with them. It wasn’t a long break, and he would be fine alone for the long weekend, his teachers giving out more work for those few days then they did for an entire month. He cooked himself mostly desserts, running every morning to make up for it – finding himself missing Misha those mornings and considering buying his own tea just to remind himself of the older man.

College wasn’t anything like Jared had expected. He found that he wasn’t interested in partying, and that the workload was more than enough to keep him busy. He had been a generally sociable person in High School, and it was odd to him that he found himself so secluded now that he was away from his childhood home. It wasn’t that he didn’t talk to people, because he did. He had watched TV is the student lounge with some people from his floor, and never ate alone in the Cafeteria if he didn’t have to. He just supposed he didn’t feel that aching to attach himself to a group of people like he usually did. He supposed when he finally decided on his major and met other people doing the same thing that he would find his own niche. But for now, he was content to just have acquaintances.

And its not like he didn’t actually have friends. Even he couldn’t lie to himself and pretend it wasn’t actually something. He had made friends with his Advisor and his Advisor’s boyfriend (Though Misha insisted that they were Partners, they were too old to be boyfriends). Jared still suspected that this was some sort of study Misha was conducting, he just hadn’t figured out what yet. Jared didn’t really have any weird quirks, other than that he had a tendency to ramble. He didn’t think that would be interesting on a psychological level, just really annoying He supposed that was just one more thing about Misha that fascinated him. The older man didn’t seem like he could be a psychologist, he was very laid back, and open about everything. He wore sweatpants, button down shirts and sandals like they were going out of style. Even as it got colder, he wore gloves, a hat and scarves increasingly, but refusing to wear a coat like it was cramp his style. It had taken him a while to get used to Misha’s touchy-feeliness as well. Misha was all about side-hugs and hand-pats, and he wondered if it was a hold over from when he had crying patients in therapy. Jared was far too polite to call him on it, and eventually he just realized that was how Misha was, he was free with everything – his thoughts, his tea, his hugs and even his money. That had been the weirdest part, googling Misha and finding out he was a Pretty Big Deal, and finding out he was really only working because it gave him something to do.

The thought made Jared feel insignificant, but Misha himself never did.

He was surprisingly comfortable around Misha, and found it safe to call them friends. Misha’s Partner on the other hand? That was a bit of a different story.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jensen, that definitely wasn’t it. In fact under different circumstances he may have liked Jensen too much. His Advisor was beautiful, which was weird for a guy. He had these plush, soft looking lips and gorgeous green eyes like nothing Jared had ever seen before. Jared sometimes couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by him. Jensen was so efficient and ready to help, and while Jared knew it was Jensen’s job to know what he was doing – sometimes he got caught off guard at how much Jensen would help him out with the simplest of things. And the fact that he actually seemed to like getting Jared’s emails, his replies were always thoughtful and interesting and he never once indicated that Jared should stop clogging in inbox with his nonsense. He would love to call the older man his friend – but it just felt to disrespectful. Their relationship wasn’t like Misha’s, they didn’t hang out in parks and talk about dogs and make up stories for the people they saw on the streets. He had never even seen Jensen in anything other than his work clothes.

He supposed it got better when he went to dinner with them that one Friday night. He saw a different side of Jensen then, and he understood the two of them a little better. It was obvious they’d been together a long time – and they complimented each other perfectly. Misha with his own little brand of weird, and Jensen with his patient logic. And the way they had looked at each other…. Jared had never seen two people look at each other with such tenderness. The way Misha looked at Jensen with his head tilted slightly, blue eyes searching his face like he couldn’t quite believe what he had in front of him, always smiling softly, almost secretly. And Jensen, who tried to be discreet, staring at Misha under his eyelashes, biting his lip just a little – always searching out the eyes first.

He thought people only looked at eachother like that in terrible romance novels.

It made him want to trust them, because despite Misha’s weirdness – they were obviously well adjusted people, and interesting to boot. Maybe that was why he wasn’t so concerned with having friends these first few months – he had two good friends if he really admitted it to himself. Sure he couldn’t go to their house and hang out, but he was okay with that in exchange for the excellent company they provided. The only thing he was regretting at this point was having nowhere to go for Christmas.

He supposed he should have thought about it earlier, knowing the terms that he had left home on. So far as he knew, he wouldn’t exactly be welcome back with open arms, and he hadn’t realized the dorms would be closed during the Winter break. He couldn’t help but be disappointed, having to deal with the fact that he wouldn’t see his family and now the added trouble of finding somewhere to stay for nearly three weeks. For a second he had entertained the idea of asking to crash on Misha and Jensen’s couch, but that would be awkward. He had a feeling they would say yes immediately – but he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to effectively live with the both of them for three weeks. Besides, Misha had told him how lonely he was with Jensen working so much, he was pretty sure they wouldn’t actually wanted him crashing on one of their only breaks together.

Instead, he figured he could just subtly ask if they knew any motels or reliable temporary living places around. A hotel would be too much for a whole month, and really he just needed some place basic where he could put his books and charge his laptop. Jared didn’t even necessarily need wifi, he would go to the Library everyday if he had to. He’d had this whole smooth spiel planned out in his head so that he wouldn’t sound desperate when he asked – of course that flew out the window Tuesday after noon when Jensen stopped to talk on his way home.

“Um, so I don’t have a place to go this Christmas.”

So he was going for pathetic lost puppy in this scenario after all.

Jensen stared at him for a moment, mouth agape and Jared wanted to smack himself. All that talk about being smooth, all that running this conversation over and over again in his head.

“That….came out so awkwardly.” Jared tried to amend, wincing a bit. “I meant that I didn’t know the dorms were closed during Winter Break, and because of the stuff with my Family, I don’t really have a place to go. I mean I could go back to Texas, but… I have a feeling I wouldn’t be welcome.”

Jensen pressed his lips together and seemed to be considering. Jared swore he could see the map in Jensen’s mind as he sorted out places and weighed their pros and cons, half the time he was sure the older man was part computer the way he came up with solutions to scheduling comflicts and directions.

“You can stay with us. That’s not a problem.” Jensen answered, like that was the obvious answer and why didn’t he just ask. “And don’t start rambling on, I know you’re work study won’t start until next semester and you don’t have the money to rent some place out for the month.”

“B-but…” Jared started, sputtering and waving his hands as though they could explain why that was all sorts of wrong.

“No buts, Jared. Room and board, plus food? As much as you eat?” Jensen was unrelenting. “We have a pull-out sofa, it will even fit you. You can stay with us, get three square meals a day and do any work you might have to start for your new classes.” His tone was stern, knowing that Jared wouldn’t fight it if he put his foot down. His tone softened a bit at Jared’s lost look though. “I’m your Advisor, Jared, sure. But I’m your friend too. Your Misha’s new best friend, and that means you probably know all sorts of intimate details about me that I wouldn’t want just a normal student to know.”

Jared blushed a bit at that and thought back to some of the conversations he and Misha had. Jensen was definitely right about the intimate details thing, something that Jared tried hard not to think about.

“I swear I won’t be in the way. I’ll go to the library every day, I won’t even send you kitten videos.” Jensen quirked an eyebrow at that and Jared smiled. “I can show them to you in person!”

Jensen smiled, then laughed and shook his head – seeming pleased. “I think its going to work out fine, Jared. Your going to make Misha’s Christmas, I’m not really into the whole Holiday thing, but I have a feeling you are. You can go caroling with him this year instead of me.”

“You don’t like Christmas Carols?” Jared seemed genuinely shocked at the admission. “Jensen!”

“Definitely not my thing. “Jensen grimaced. “But I put up with it, I get it. So you and Misha can sing your hearts out. Hopefully you’re a better singer than he is.”

Jared laughed and grinned. “I’ll try not to disappoint.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” Jensen smiled, then checked his watch. “Misha needed to show me something, so I have to get home before he gets antsy. We can talk more on Friday, alright?”

“Yeah… Thanks, Jensen. I really, really, really appreciate it.” Jared couldn’t help but smile, feeling inclined to hug his advisor, but realizing it might be a teensy bit inappropriate. Jensen waved it off and said goodbye, heading off the parking lot. While Jared just stood there for a moment, probably looking ridiculous with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face.


	3. Gently

“I swear you are actually trying to kill me, Ackles.” Misha was looking at him from over his laptop, eyebrows raised and mouth twitching like he didn’t quite want to smile. “But you are serious, aren’t you?”

“Absolutely.” Jensen nodded, heading into the kitchen and pulling out a can of coke, ignoring the way Misha grimaced at the sound of it hissing. “So, any chance you would interested in bringing home baby this Christmas?”

Jensen grinned, feeling rather proud of himself. There was rarely a time when he made Misha speechless and he was going to enjoy it while he could. Besides he was in a good mood, and he was pretty sure he was going to be wearing this grin all the way through Christmas and then some.  He made his way over to the dining room table, kissing Misha on the forehead before tipping the older man’s chin up to kiss him lightly on the lips. He laughed gently as blue eyes stared at him, wide-eyed in astonishment. 

“I know its earlier than we planned, but when he asked about a place to stay...” Jensen was serious as he pulled a chair closer to Misha and sat. “Neither of us wants him all alone over the Holidays. And especially not with strangers. Besides,” Jensen smiled suddenly. “He wants to go caroling with you.”

Misha’s mouth opened and closed, before he shook his head and reached over to punch his shoulder good-naturedly. “Jensen Ackles you stupid bastard. I love you.” He grinned beautifully, his eyes shinning suspiciously bright.

Jensen winked, feeling light as a feather. “Right back at you, Mish.” He took a drink from the can and sat up a little straight. “But seriously, are we going to be okay in time for that?”

“Of course.” Misha scoffed, like that was a stupid question. He would do anything he had to in order to get Jared home. “His sleepers came weeks ago, I found a place that makes custom Onesies and got those too. We’re stocked up on diapers. Bottles and pacifiers have been here, I’ll just need to go through again and wash them. Three pairs of mitts should be coming soon.” Misha leaned back, seeming to consider. “I’ll need to pick up Benadryl, ear plugs and an eye mask. A few lotions as well… I’ll make a list later.”

“Right.” Jensen nodded and smiled. “I can go with you, I’ve kind of missed out on shopping for this stuff with you. I’d like for us to get the last few items together.”

Misha’s eyes softened and he nodded; turning his laptop and exiting out of the document he was working on. “Here, I was picking out some blankets for him. Why don’t you help me decide?”

 Jensen leaned in and looked at the website, grabbing Misha’s hand under the table and squeezing lightly. He honestly couldn’t think of anywhere he would rather be than here, with his Partner – picking things out for Jared, right on the cusp of starting their new family. He pointed at the screen with his free hand and grinned, green eyes seeking out Misha’s.

“Giraffes, I think he’ll love those.”

 

Jared knows he is unreasonably nervous as he walks down the sidewalk, looking for Jensen and Misha’s house. They had offered to pick him up, but Jared had needed the extra time to himself to make sure he didn’t freak out about the fact that he was staying over their house for break. He had sufficiently freaked out for about two weeks, then got so lost in his Finals that it had drifted to the back of his mind. Then two days ago he suddenly remembered that he had to be out by 12pm on December 17th, but he barely had anytime to freak out as he tried to figure out what he needed to bring, as well as bake enough things to express his gratitude towards them for giving him a place to stay.

He hadn’t know what to expect of where they lived, the fact that Misha walked to the Park – but Jensen drove home from school threw him off. When Jensen had given him his address, a quick Google map search had shown they lived about twenty minutes away, and that was driving. He supposed at some point Misha must have taken a bus or a taxi home, though Jared wouldn’t put it past him to actually walk three hours that early in the morning. He took a cab out to their street, staring down the long cul de sac, feeling odd after living for a few months in a small dorm room. He had lived in suburbia back in Texas, but this was like – pretending to be middle-class suburbia. The houses were nearly identical, all looking to be about two stories, with small front lawns and large backyards. He supposed it could have been worse, and he might have ended up standing outside of some huge Mansion with gates and watchtowers and guard dogs. 

There were sparse Christmas decorations up as he passed the houses, large cars parked in driveways and many of the yards fenced in or lined with large, thick hedges. These were definitely rich people trying to be middle-class, there was none of that neighborly, community feel going on here – that was for certain. He honestly hoped that they wouldn’t be caroling around here, because he could definitely see why Jensen wouldn’t be a fan.

The house ended up being far down the street, near the end. Just like the other houses it wasn’t decorating, just a wreath with a large red bow hanging off the door. Adjusting his backpack, he rolled his suitcase up the path, careful not to let it fall into the nicely manicured grass. He stared at the wreath for a few moments before knocking ringing the doorbell once and knocking twice. He started to fidget nervously, wondering if he should just hightail it out of there – when the door opened and Misha greeted him behind the glass – grinning like a maniac and wearing reindeer antlers on his head. 

“Happy Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!” Miisha exclaimed as he opened the outside door and pulled Jared in for a big hug. The tall boy was a bit dazed, looking over Misha and into the house, trying to take everything in. “Welcome home!” 

Jared looked down at him now and grinned sheepishly, pushing his suitcase in and letting older man close the door. Shuffling farther into the house, he found himself relaxing at how comfortable everything was there was a nice warm glow, the furniture looked comfortable and there were books everywhere, on shelves – windowsills and the coffee table.

“Thanks.” Jared said softly, unwrapping his scarf from his neck, starting to feel a bit hot. “I liked your wreath.”

That didn’t come out quite how he wanted, but he needed to compliment something. That’s just what you did when you went to a friend’s house.

Misha rolled his eyes and grabbed his arm. “Our neighbors have a problem with any enthusiastic displays of merriment. A young couple moved in last year and put up some light-up reindeer on their yard and people all along the street complained that the lights bothered them during the night. So no Christmas decorations for us. If Jen weren’t so in love with the house, I’d move out.”

Misha led him down the hall and turned into the kitchen, where Jared’s nose was immediately assaulted with the smells of delicious spices. Jensen stood behind the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, washing dishes – only looking up when he heard Misha clear his throat.

“You made it.” Jensen smiled and wiped his hand on a towel, his green eyes sparkled as he went over and gave him a side-hug. “I was afraid I might have to ride out and pick you up. But its not too scary how that you’re here, right?”

“Your neighbors are terrifying.” Jared answered him with a fake shudder. “Its totally Stepford out here." 

Jared instantly covered his mouth, eyes wide at what he just said. But Misha nudges Jensen and raises an eyebrow, coking his head in an ‘I told you so’ manner before wandering over to the stove and inspecting the food.

“Its not too bad.” Jensen tried, but doesn’t seem to believe it himself. “Okay, it kind of is. I wanted to move to a Ranch, but its too far for either of our jobs. Maybe when we retire we can move out somewhere nice. I’d like to have horses someday, and be able to put things on my own front lawn without being considered a public disturbance.”

“You want the light-up reindeer, too?” Jared moved farther into the Kitchen, feeling surprisingly comfortable. The cabinets were all a deep, cherry wood, and the refrigerator was one of those huge black monstrosities that did everything but the cooking for you. This was the kind of kitchen Jared wanted when he got older and had his own house.

“Maybe not reindeer, but maybe a bird fountain or something.” Jensen shrugged and waved his hand. “Do you want anything to drink? We’ve got water, Coke, milk. Just warning you – Misha doesn’t like soda, so take it while you can.”

“I’m right here.” Misha reminds them as tasting the red sauce in one of the pots. He groans and closes his eyes. “Jared just wait until you taste this, you’ll see why I’ve put up with him for so long.”

With a laugh and a nod, Jared can’t help but agree. It smells like heaven – and considering he has mostly been eating Cafeteria food for the last few months, anything homemade is going to be the best meal ever. “I’ll just take water.” He says. “With ice, please.”

Jensen gets a glass and the refrigerator deposits crushed ice and water in the glass. He murmers a thank you to Jensen and drinks it slowly, sighing happily at the refreshing taste. He eases himself onto one of the barstools on the island and holds his book bag on his lap. After draining half the glass of water, he takes out a huge bag filled with at least seventy cookies – not too crushed from the trip over.

“So I was going to bake you some more pies or a cake – but I didn’t know how I was going to get them here. So I just made a bunch of different kinds of cookies.” Jared flushed a little. “Theres oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, sugar and peanut butter.”

Jensen looked far too excited as he took the bag eagerly. “I don’t know if I told you, but those pies and cookies you made last time where divine. Seriously, this is the best Christmas gift ever.” The older man is holding the bag to him, like someone might come out of nowhere and steal it from him. Jared can’t help but find it sort of cute. He looks different here at home, in worn jeans and a loose t-shirt. He isn’t wearing his glasses, something Jared doesn’t see often and his hair is a mess – like he didn’t care enough to comb it when he got out of bed. Its not nearly as awkward being around him as Jared thought it would be. 

“You enabler.” Misha accused, going to rescue the bag of cookies. Jensen glared, reluctant to let the bag go as his older partner tugged the cookies out of his hands and placed it on the refrigerator. “if we don’t eat those together tonight, I guarantee they will be gone by time we wake up in the morning.”

“Speaking of tonight, what are we watching?” Jensen said, raising an eyebrow curiously. He looked over at Jared and explained. “Starting once school closes, we watch a Christmas movie every night – and sometimes it isn’t really a Christmas movie. We watched Titanic last year, since it was released in December.”

“Jensen cried.” Misha input helpfully.

“The Lord of the Rings movies came out in December.” Jared mused, a bit cautious of how much input he had into the situation.

“Really?” Jensen’s eyes lit up and he slowly smiled. “Well theres three nights covered. How about it Misha?”

Misha glared from over the island. “Those movies are horrendously long. Especially since Jensen insists on the Extended versions.”

“Titanic.” Jensen insisted, crossing his arms. “Besides, its two against one.”

Misha raised an eyebrow, looking ready to retort but instead he just rolled his eyes and held up his hands. “I better be getting the best Christmas gifts ever.” Jensen grinned, a sparkle in his eye he went over and grabbed Misha around the middle, nuzzling into his neck. Jared watched as the two of them seem to share a special moment and his body felt warm with something that reminded him of a mixture of home and happiness. He laughed as Misha pinched Jensen’s nose and asked him when dinner would be done, and figured wouldn’t be such a bad Holiday at all.

 

Jared hadn’t felt so full in what seemed like forever. It hadn’t been until his third bowl of spaghetti that he really thought about how much he was eating, but Jensen had assured him he had taken Jared’s bottomless pit of a stomach into account before hand. The meal was satisfying, as was the quiet conversation and by time they had settled on the couch to start the movie – Jared was pretty sure he was going to fall asleep about fifteen minutes in.

“Misha felt the proper way to start off was with a classic.” Jared looked up at Jensen entered the room with a large plate of cookies. The older man set them on the coffee table, then went to the large TV and slipped in a disk. “Psycho apparently takes place around Christmas.”

Jared blinked as the main menu of the DVD came up and slowly murmured. “Isn’t this a horror movie?”

“Basically.” Jensen fell next to Jared on the couch, and immediately reached out to grab a cookie. “Do you mind?” 

“I made the cookies for you guys.” Jared suppressed a yawn.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “I meant the movie, not the cookies.”

“Oh.” Jared grinned sheepishly and just ducked his head. “Its fine, I swear I’m going to fall asleep soon anyway. Your like, Michelangelo with food. Or something. It was amazing.”

“I could tell. It was pretty great having someone appreciate my food that much. I mean I’m sure Misha appreciates it, but he also doesn’t know how to cook – so he appreciates food no matter where it comes from.”

“I appreciate you peculiar skill for cooking.” Misha announced, entering the room with a tray and three cups of tea balanced on it. “Even if I don’t understand it. You never cooked in college and I’ve never seen you take lessons.”

Jensen smirked and put a finger to his lips. “Its my little secret.”

Misha placed the tray next to the cookies, handing Jensen his cup and then Jared his. He settled down on the other side of Jared, looking at the boy very seriously. “He gets too frisky if we sit close to one another.”

“Oh god, Misha…” Jensen sputtered, sounding like he almost chocked on his tea. He quickly picked up the remote and pressed play, leaning back into the couch and getting comfortable.

“You’ll have to tell me what you think. Its my Christmas blend, Jensen has no taste for tea and never gives me worthwhile feedback.” Misha whispered gently. 

“Mmn.” Jared made a soft sound, sipping the tea and sighing as warmth spread through his body and settled heavy and comfortable in his stomach. He could feel his eyelids dropping, even as he tried to focus on the black and white picture in front of him.. There was no way he was going to last the length of the movie and he drained as much tea as he could, ignoring the burn as he set the cup down on the table and slumped back into the couch.

A quiet calm settled in the room as the movie began in earnest and Jared felt himself drifting in and out of awareness, only hearing snatches of the conversation going on within the movie. It didn’t bother him too much; he had seen it before and liked it. He just wished he could stay awake for the big reveal at the end, which was always exciting. His eyes drifted shut as he yawned again, head lolling too to the side as he body seemed to relax and refuse to hold any of his weight. It had been a long few weeks after all – and he was sure Jensen and Misha wouldn’t mind too much. He would try to make it up to the later, maybe wake up early to make pancakes. But for now, he just really wanted to sleep.

 

 

“Out like a light.” Jensen murmured fondly as he rested the back of his hand against Jared’s forehead. “How much did you give him?”

“Enough to keep him out for a few hours. He was tired before he drank the tea anyway.” Misha reached over and grabbed the remote, quickly shutting off the television. He stood and moved the coffee table to give them more space. “You ready?” He looked up at Jensen, blue eyes bright and wide – but determined.

“More than anything.” He stood and joined Misha, unable to resist running a hand through Jared’s soft locks. Being as careful as he could, Jensen slipped one arm under Jared’s knees and the other under his arms, grunting on a little with effort before he settled comfortable with the boy’s weight in his arms. He grinned at Misha’s impressed look. “Once I was reminded that I had that gym membership, I put it to good use.” He smiled gently. “just so I could be ready for this.”

Misha was quiet, but obviously pleased as he looked at the two of them. Silently, with an air of almost practiced precision they made their way upstairs – mindful not to make any sudden movements or loud sounds. Jared was knocked out, but for some reason this moment seemed to require an almost sacred atmosphere. They went into the large bathroom and settled him down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Misha ran the bathwater and Jensen collected the towels and other tools they would need. They hardly needed to speak, each having gone over this scenario so many times in their head that it almost came to them naturally – instinctually even.

Jensen was almost reverent as he began undressing the boy, carefully unzipping his sweatshirt and folding it. Misha joined him afterwards, hands almost trembling as they stripped him of his clothes – both working silently until their boy sat in front of them, naked as the day he was born. He was absolutely beautiful, and by time he was cleaned up – he would be even more so, the very image of innocence. Jensen moved the clothes to the side, the Rebirthing called for no reminder of one’s past life – so all of the things Jared had brought would be donated or thrown out – and they could buy Jared other traveling clothes later. 

“Jensen…” The raw emotion in Misha’s voice vibrated through the younger male, sending a thrill up his spine and warmth through his heart. All he could do smile over at him, look into those bright blue eyes and nod.

Together they lifted Jared into the warm water of the tub, cleaning him with soap that would soften and soothe his skin. They spent extra time cleaning under his nails, and Misha cooed over his ears much to Jensen’s amusement. Next they needed to carefully remove all of the hair from his body – both of them taking care not to knick or cut him. It took extra time – but they made sure he was smooth and clean under his arms and privates. Jensen washed Jared’s hair as Misha went to fetch his first sleeper from the room, rushing as already felt the sting of being away from his boy for too long.

Jensen had rinsed the boy off and then taken him out of he tub, patting him dry and wrapping a towel around his shoulders to prepare for cutting his hair. He looked over at Misha and raised his eyebrow gently. “You really want it short?” 

Misha sighed and kneeled down, setting the sleeper aside and running a hand through Jared’s beautiful chocolate brown hair before nodding. “Its what the process calls for. Go ahead.”

With a nod, Jensen began to cut away at Jared’s hair, getting rid of most of the length. As much as they loved Jared’s hair, it would grow back given time – just a beautiful and bouncy as before. After the hair cut, they took their time rubbing sweet smelling baby lotion into Jared’s skin, becoming familiar with their boy’s body as he slept. The coming days would be difficult, and there was no guarantee when they would have Jared so pliant and docile again.

They worked together to powder him and slip on his diaper, making sure it fit snug and secure. Jensen bit his lip, knowing his would be the hardest challenge – Jared learning to let go and relieve himself. The fear that Jared could hurt himself trying to hold it all in was very real and for a moment he just stared, wanting to gather the boy into his arms and tell him everything was fine – he didn’t have to worry ever again. His eyes widened as he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and he looked over to see Misha’s blue eyes looking at him gently, understandingly.

“Everything is okay, Jensen. Its okay.” Misha reassured him and leaned over to touch their foreheads together lightly. “We’re going to need to rest before he wakes up as well, so lets get out baby boy into bed, okay?”

Jensen nodded and they both got Jared into his jumper. It was light green and zipped up in the back, the feet had Lilly pad patterns on the bottom, and some how it seemed perfect for Jared. With a small smile, Jensen gathered the boy into his arms again and they went down to the room at the end of the hall. The light was dimmed, and blackout curtains closed. Misha lowered the side of the crib and Jensen laid Jared down, arranging him carefully so that he was comfortable.

“Pacifier and…”

“Mitts.” Misha nodded and handed Jensen the training pacifier.

Unfortunately Jared probably wouldn’t be too keen on the pacifier at first, and until he got comfortable with it – they would have to use one that was specially design with a buckle in the back – almost like a gag to hold it in place. Hopefully Jared would realize the suckling and chewing would be calming and be able to simply enjoy his pacifier with it being forced in, but until then this would do. Jensen put the pacifier in Jared’s mouth, securing it comfortable as Misha put on the mitts to keep him from hurting himself or breaking anything. Next came the sleeping mask and the earplugs, serving to make sure waking up to a new experience didn’t overwhelm him. As things progressed, he would eventually be free to use his other senses – ending lastly with his hands. But that wouldn’t be for quite a while.

Standing back, Jensen and Misha stared down at their baby boy, sweet and sleeping in his crib – looking so perfect and content. Jensen wrapped an arm around his partner’s waist, kissing the top of his head and humming gently. They would stay and stare at Jared until morning came if they had the choice – but they did need to get to bed in order to be well rested for when Jared woke up. They allowed themselves a few more minutes of peace before breaking apart. Jensen fetched the baby monitor, attaching it to one of the poles of the crib and turning it up. Misha tucked a blanket over Jared, brushing his lips over the sleeping boy’s forehead before lifting up the crib’s gate and securing it.

“Sleep tight, Jared.” Misha sighed gently, itching to touch and hold and cuddle – but resisting, and taking a step back – eyes never leaving Jared’s sleeping form. Something just felt so right at the moment, like everything had finally settled into place. Misha had never had doubts, not after meeting Jared – but he had never in a million years imagined he could feel like he did right now. Here with his partner and their baby.

“Hey,” Jensen kissed the top of his head and massaged his shoulders gently. It was his turn to reassure Misha. “We’re just a room away, he will be fine. Lets get some rest, alright? We’re going to spend the rest of ours lives with our baby boy.”

Misha nodded, picking up one of Jensen’s hand and kissing his knuckles. “Didn’t think I’d love him so much already.”

“He’s perfect.” Jensen stated matter-of-factly. “He’s ours and he will be here in the morning. “

Jensen tugged Misha gently towards the door, dimming the lights all the way until the room was pitch black. Aware of Misha’s emotional state, he held the older man close as they headed down the hall to their bedroom. Stopping outside their door, he kissed Misha sweetly, trying to calm his nerves. “You go get ready for bed. I’ll clean up the bathroom.”

Misha nodded, glancing down the hall for a second before looking up at Jensen. “Don’t be too long.” He squeezed his Partner’s arm and went to get ready for bed.

Twenty minutes later, Jensen was done with the bathroom and he hurried to their room, changing into a t-shirt and boxers and climbing into bed. Misha was propped up against the headboard, reading some papers - no doubt about Rebirthing - held within his iron grip. Jensen gently persuaded him to let go and put the papers aside, switching of the bedside lamp and gathering Misha into his arms. The older man curled into him and sighed gently, relaxing as he listened to Jensen’s steady heartbeat. Leaning over, Jensen checked to make sure the baby monitor was on, then rested his chin on top of Misha’s head and closed his eyes.

 


	4. Precious

The first thing Jared registers as that there is something in his mouth. Something rubbery and thick, but he can’t spit it out no matter how much he tries. He tries to bring his hand to his face and realizes that he can’t actually uncurl his fists, something is restricting him and in that moment Jared realizes he must have been kidnapped. He breathes harshly through his nose, wiggling around and blinking his eyes to no avail. Whatever blindfold was put on his is thick, with no give, and his bound hands make it impossible for him to try and take it off.

            _Breathe. Think. Last night._

Yes, last night he had gone to Misha and Jensen’s house. Jensen cooked dinner and Missha made tea and then they started watching a movie Thats it. He didn’t remember finishing the movie, he had been exhausted and with the warm tea flowing through his body it was no wonder he had drifted off to sleep. His panic rises as he wonders about Jensen and Misha, they had both been subdued from a good meal the night before and probably just as tired as he was. Had they been taken too?

 Jared rolled to the side, but found himself blocked by some kind of barrier, rolling again to the other side – he realized it was the same. It could have been some sort of cage, and his blood ran cold. He heard about this sort of thing, people getting kidnapped and being sold as sex slaves. He wished the rubber thing was out of his mouth; it had started to make him feel sick. With a groan, Jared realized there wasn’t much he could do in this situation. He was blind, gagged and unable to use his hands and part of him just wanted to lie there quietly and cry.

Frustrated he tried to yell through the object in his mouth, shuffling around as he tried to sit up. His limbs felt weak and sluggish and he absently wondered if his kidnappers had given him some sort of drug to keep him asleep while they transported him. He screamed again, this time feeling tears welling up in his eyes, wetting the blindfold he was wearing as he tried vainly to call to someone. Jared could barely hear himself, and he knew that even if there was damage done to his ears, it wouldn’t be very loud anyway.

In that moment, he couldn’t help but think of his family – and how he regretted not going to see them to try and make amends. He was scared, and he felt unwanted – but even their terse company would be preferable to this. He would denounce any bad thing he had ever done to be back in his Mother’s arms right now.

Jared was sniffling, his throat dried from his cries when he felt his cage being shaken a little and suddenly there was a gentle touch on his forehead. He jerked away, immediately crying out as he cracked his head against the other side of his cage. He could hear muffled sounds of what sounded like someone talking before a hand cradled his head and helped him sit up. Jared could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, and he turned his head, trying to identify where his captor was, what he was doing. A hand strokes over his head, which he suddenly noticed was suspiciously cold and suddenly he felt a pressure being removed from his ears and he almost sagged in relief as one of his senses was freed.

“I bet that’s better, isn’t it, baby boy?”

Jared felt stricken and his eyes widened behind his mask, even though it did nothing. That voice, oh god, it was Misha, it couldn’t be Misha. Not unless, no, Misha was probably helping him, rescuing him. Forcing himself to calm down, Jared tried to angle himself toward where the voice was coming from, lifting his hands weakly to show that he wanted those off first.

 “Sorry, Jay, just the earplugs for now. We’re going to take things one step at a time.”

He suddenly felt himself being lifted and immediately squirmed, not liking the feeling. Misha, or at least he assumed it was Misha, held him tight and secure until he felt himself be situated on what felt like someone’s lap, while his legs stretched out onto some cushions. Giving a muffled noise of questioning, he wondered why it was taking so long to get him out of all this stuff. He didn’t like how he was lying, curled against someone’s chest and being held securely – but unable to get away.

“I’m going to explain everything, Jared.” Misha’s voice was gentle, like he was soothing a wounded animal. “I just want you to listen and then we’re going to eat breakfast. Don’t try to move, you’re still weak. You could hurt yourself like you did earlier.” 

Jared felt a hand smooth over his scalp where he had hit his head and he winced a bit. But he accepted Misha’s request, trusted him enough to know that there had to be a reason why he still needed to be in these restraints. Misha was technically a doctor, right?

“I don’t even know where to begin, Jay. Jensen and I have waited a long time for you. Last night I could barely contain myself,. I know it doesn’t make sense right now, but just trust me. We want to take care of you, Jared. Its clear your having problems with your family and other than us you barely get out and socialize.” Jared squirmed. “Sssh, ssh. Calm down. Me and Jen were so worried about you. And you told us you didn’t have a place to stay for Christmas? You deserve to be with family for the Holidays.”

Jared wants so badly to look up and see if it really is Misha, because he honestly can’t believe the words he is hearing. It has to be a hallucination, or a dream – a fucked up dream, but a dream nonetheless. He squirms again, fighting and he just feels the arms hold him tighter. Misha or the Misha-imposter is whispering gentle words to him that are meant to calm him down. All they do is serve to make him more upset, and soon Jared’s frantic thoughts and panic blocks him out.

“Jared…”

The new voice breaks through his panic and he whips his head around as though he could see them. Misha’s hand runs through his hair in a soothing gesture, and Jared wants nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.

“Its okay Jared, its just Jensen. Your Papa Jensen, okay?” Misha’s voice is close to his ear and so gentle it almost hurts. “He brought you breakfast, warm milk. If you drink all of it, we’ll let you ask a few questions.”

Jared wonders f he really has a choice, and he nods slowly. A sinking feeling dawned on him at the thought that Jensen was in on this as well and Jared can’t help but feel incredibly stupid. He should have known the moment he stepped onto their creepy, perfect, cul-de-sac street. He had even called in Stepford himself, but he had been to naïve and completely trusted these two older men who he barely knew. But whatever Con they were pulling, they certainly knew what they were doing. They probably did this to freshmen every yea. Kidnapped them, and tied them up and then what happened?

“Hey Jared, hope your feeling okay.” Jensen’s voice is rich and warm – it makes Jared feel sick that he wants to trust this voice he knows so well. “Go easy on me, its my first time making milk.”

He laughs gently and Jared feels himself being shifted so that he is laying across two bodies. He struggles a bit as he feels himself being propped up against a strong chest, arms wrapping securely around his middle. “Be a good boy, Jared.” Theres a soft whisper in his ear and he knows the one holding him is Misha.

The gag is taken out of his mouth and before he has a chance to stretch his jaw or even process the fact that his mouth is free, he feels something else warm and rubbery pressed against into his mouth. Jared immediately turned away, grimacing and squirming before Jensen’s hand caught his chin and forces the bottle between his lips.

“Drink this and then questions.” Jensen says firmly, tipping the bottle and his chin. “You aren’t going to have many chances to talk for a while so you should take this chance while you can.”

Jared still tried to turn his jaw, letting out pathetic whimpers before Misha sighed and released on arm to pinch his nose. Jared wanted to panic, but it was no use at this point and with a broken sob, he began drinking the milk in long slow guzzles. Misha let go of his nose and went to stroke his hair, murmuring gentle words of encouragement.

“You are such a good baby boy. Drinking all of your milk. I’m so proud of you, Jared, so proud.”

And that should feel wrong, the whole thing should feel wrong and he should be fighting. But the more he drinks down the warm milk, the more he finds himself relaxing into Misha’s hold. His stomach feels warm and heavy and his eyelids droop behind the sleeping mask. His bladder feels a bit uncomfortable, but its hard for him to concentrate on it with the sudden exhaustion that settles over him. He doesn’t have the mind to stop sucking until Jensen gentle pulls the bottle from his mouth and wipes him with a gentle cloth.

“That should help you relax.” Jensen explains, stroking a thumb over the younger man’s cheek. “Now that you’re all calmed down and fed, you can ask us anything you want, okay? Just for a little bit and then I think it will be nap time.”

Jared’s head is against Misha’s shoulder at this point and even moving his lips seems like an impossible task. “I…” He tries to think of all the complicated questions from earlier and it just makes him confused. “Bathroom.”

“Don’t worry, baby. You’ve got your diaper on so we’re going to practice going in that. You don’t need to worry about getting to a toilet or a bathroom. You just relieve yourself when you need.” Jared shakes his head, no able to get out the words. “Its okay, Jared. Its going to be hard at first. But we’ll help. We’ll give you something to help loosen everything up, you won’t have a choice but to go. And we’ll work from there.”

“Can’t…please, no.” Jared’s body felt so heavy, and he could feel the strong pull of sleep as he fought to stay awake. He still had so many questions and they had promised him. Of course he shouldn’t have trusted them to keep their word, the milk… it had to have been the milk…

“Sssh, its time to rest, Jared.” Misha’s voice was gentle. “Its okay.”

“Next meal you can ask more questions.” Jensen’s voice sounded so far away suddenly and Jared felt like he was underwater – everything muffled and far away. He felt the pacifier gag being put back into his mouth, but he had no strength to fight it. He chewed weakly at the rubber, whimpering a little. “Your doing great, Jared.”

 The last thing Jared remembered were strong arms lifting him up, before he was suddenly asleep.

  

Jared woke up in the dark again, and that little bit of information is enough to confirm that this was more than just some awful dream. It was undeniable now, he had been kidnapped, and was now being held hostage by two people he _thought_ he could trust. But as he looked back on the past few months – he realized it was stupid of him to assume that Jensen and Misha were friends with him because they genuinely _liked_ him. He was a college student, a freshman – not even twenty, what could they have possibly wanted with him that wasn’t for nefarious reasons? Jared let out a choked sob, cursing himself for his own stupidity- never trusting strangers was one of the first rules you learned as a kid. And this was why.

Gingerly, he rolled to his side and used his bound hands to feel along the side of the ‘cage’ he was in. There were bars, made of smooth, thick wood, and whatever mattress he was lying on was surprisingly comfortable. There were generous amounts of blankets, soft and thick and smelling of vanilla. The scent was almostcomforting, calming him enough to allow him to think and try and figure out the mess he was in.

His head hurt a little, and moving was harder than he remembered. Flashing back to earlier, he realized that Jensen must have drugged the milk he had been forced to drink in order to knock him out. Shivering, Jared recalled the conversation with trepidation, gathering one of the soft blankets to his chest and breathing in deeply as the whole thing started to come back to him. He didn’t understand what they were trying to tell him - they didn’t mention ransoming, or scientific experiments or any of the more horrible scenarios Jared could come up with. They seem to genuinely want to….care for him. What was it Misha kept calling him? Baby boy, _baby?_

Oh god, this was some sick sexual thing wasn’t it? Not that Jared knew a lot about people’s kinks, and he would be lying if he knew of any kinks that had to do with dressing someone up in a diaper and force-feeding them. He couldn’t imagine what satisfaction they would get out of having him like this. He was barely coherent, couldn’t even touch them with his hands bound and should he not be able to hold his bladder they would have to clean up after him. Maybe it was the power? Knowing that he was completely at their mercy? Wasn’t that a bondage thing, and more importantly – couldn’t they find someone _willing_ to play their sex games? 

Mostly he just wanted to know how long they planned on keeping him here. As horrible as the thought was – maybe if he….if he let them have what they wanted, they would let him go sooner. There were three weeks left until the next semester, three weeks until anyone would really start to worry about him. Jared wasn’t sure what you were supposed to do in hostage situations, but his best bet seemed to be to listen and do what he was told and convince them to let him go.

He took a deep breath through his nose and settled down onto his side, trying to calm his racing mind. The plan sounds good – it sounds _easy_ even. But he knows that this isn’t a situation that is going to work itself out in a simple way. Hes going to have to fight for his freedom – even if it means playing into enemy hands.

For a while, theres nothing the sound of his own breathing, the house is still and quiet, uncomfortably so. Now that he is calmer, he notices the pressure in his bladder beginning to build, but he refuses to let go on principle. Its not too bad, and for all he knows the diaper is a precaution and they will let him use the toilet eventually. 

The sound of the door opening, even muffled, is strangely comforting. With no sense of time, the silence was almost overwhelming, with only his own optimistic thoughts of escape and soft blankets to keep him company. Jared turned over onto his other side, facing where the door would be, straining to hear a voice so that he can tell who had entered the room.

“Hey, Jay. We weren’t sure when you were going to wake up, sleepy head.” Its Jensen, his voice sounds amused but gentle. “Came to check your diaper, you haven’t gone since early last night.”

Jared feels the cage move a little, and then feels strong hands move the blankets off of him, and run over his body, soothing and careful. He can’t help but be tense, even when its clear that Jensen is trying his best not to spook him. It feels too much like some stranger is exploring his body and he can’t see them or tell them to stop, despite the fact that Jensen has probably seen more of his body that even his Mama has.

Then Jensen’s hand his resting on his stomach, pressing a little and making Jared squirm uncomfortably. Oh yeah, he definitely has to go to the bathroom and Jensen is really, really not helping. He let out a high whimpering sound and shook his head, wishing he could beg for Jensen to just let him keep that part of his dignity in tact.

“I know it hurts, baby. But you have to let go.” Jensen sounded concerned. “If you trust me, nothing bad will happen. I promise.” 

Jared wanted to laugh. Trust him? Really? After all this?  Jensen’s rubbing now and the pressure keeps building and Jared easily forgets his plan of ‘doing what they want him to do’ in order to try and roll away. He doesn’t know why hes holding on just for _this_ , its just peeing, but for some reason its feels like _more._ Like if he does this one thing, something will be lost.

“Jared, stop that.” Jensen lays a hand on his chest, pressing him down flat on his back. “You can’t keep this in. Its unhealthy.”

Jared was shaking now, and his whole body felt like it was on edge. The combination of pressure and fear and humiliation rushed through him as he tried to twist and move, anything to stop from letting go. But Jensen was still holding him down, rubbing and massaging and then he found that spot – and pressed and Jared can’t do it anymore. Before he knows it, the younger man is crying and wetting himself, the relief of it not enough to hide the sheer embarrassment of what he had just done. Jared can’t help but burst into tears, no longer struggling – just lying there defeated and humiliated, hoping that Jensen was damn well happy about breaking him like this.

He didn’t struggle as he felt himself being pulled up, against a firm chest, a hand cradling his head and an arm wrapping around his body. Jared just continued to cry, the sounds muffled by the pacifier gag in his mouth, and tears trailing from beneath the sleepmask. He couldn’t even bring himself to try and pull away, he didn’t _want_ to pull away. He didn’t want to be left alone in his mess and his shame, even if Jensen was to blame for what happened. Jared tried his best to curl in close to the older man’s chest, desperate for some comfort, while his body was shaking and heaving with sobs.

“Its okay, baby. Its okay.” Jensen rocked Jared slowly, petting his short hair. “I know that was hard baby boy, but you did so good. You did so good, I’m so proud of you. You are so brave, baby Jay, your amazing. And its okay to cry, because I’m here. And I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you, okay? Trust me, baby. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

The words were a soothing balm, even with circumstances as they were. And somehow, Jared knew it was true, Jensen wasn’t going to leave him like this. And as sick as it was, Jared couldn’t help but feel grateful.

 

Misha came in nearly an hour later to see Jensen half in the crib, holding a curled up Jared to his chest. He stopped just as he entered the room, just watching the two of them – feeling suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. It was only the first _day_ and this was what he walked in and saw? It had to be fate. Misha had expected – no he had been sure that it would be at least a week if not more before Jared willingly let himself be held without the use of drugs or bindings. But there he was, head tucked beneath Jensen’s chin, body lax, letting the older man take his entire burden. It was just how Misha had pictured it so many times before.

Jensen finally seemed to notice him and looked up with a gentle smile. It was clear though, that he was fighting the urge to grin like the proudest Papa in the world. Misha smiled back and shook his head in disbelief, surprised at just how well Jensen was doing, but at the same time knowing that he should have never doubted Jensen’s abilities to handle Jared properly. 

Quietly, Misha made his way over to the pair, kissing Jensen’s forehead before kneeling down beside them and gazing at Jared in awe at his relaxed state. He knew with the earplugs, Jared wouldn’t be able to hear them if they decided to whisper, but Misha didn’t want to ruin the serenity of the moment.  Instead, he contented himself with leaning against Jensen’s side and just watching their baby boy sleep..

Eventually Jensen tapped his hand and said softly., but excitedly “He finally used his diaper.”

“Really?” Misha was rather surprised, but pleased. He hadn’t heard any screaming earlier, which he certainly expected. He couldn’t help breaking out into a grin and squeezed Jensen’s free hand. “That’s wonderful. Your wonderful.”

“ _Hes_ wonderful.” Jensen corrected softly, squeezing the young man lying against him. “He was upset, but he let me comfort him. Just curled against me like it was the most natural thing in the world.”

Misha nodded, looking up into Jensen’s eyes and cupping his cheek, trying to convey all of the emotion he was feeling. The happiness, the gratefulness and how damn lucky he felt he was to have these two perfect people in his life. There would be time for words later, but for now, just the peace and the serenity of the room felt necessary to express just how marvelous this really was.

  

Jensen sighed and pressed his lips together as he stood over the stove, preparing dinner. Misha was upstairs trying to calm Jared down after their disastrous try at diapering him while he was awake.

He had been so relaxed in Jensen’s arms that they figured he might be willing to let them change his diaper without having to be restrained. At first it had seemed to go well, as they explained what they were going to and laid him down on the floor. But the moment Jensen had reached to undo his diaper, Jared had let out a muffled cry and started kicking and thrashing and trying to crawl away. With a full night’s rest and the drugs basically out of his system, Jared had been strong and it took both him and Misha to hold him down and secure him back in the crib. 

They hadn’t wanted to use the wrist and ankle restraints, but it was necessary to get Jared to stop thrashing around. And for all the progress that they had made that morning, this seemed to set them back two steps. Misha had stayed to try and calm Jared down with soothing words and gentle touches, while Jensen went to get Jared’s lunch – needing a break before he got too upset.

He had known from the beginning that this was going to be hard work, and that the visions he had of reading Jared stories and coloring with him and baking cupcakes were very far off. Despite that, seeing this had actually scary – a panicked Jared could easily hurt himself and he could only imagine the mental stress their boy was going through. It hurt, and Jensen wanted nothing more than to cuddle Jared and kiss his cheeks and make it all better. But he knew if he tried, he would be instantly rejected and right now he didn’t think he could handle that. 

Misha was much better at this – understanding just the right amount of comfort to give Jared and how to modulate his voice to keep the boy calm. He was also exceedingly patient, and undeterred by Jared’s willfulness. It was impressive, and Jensen knew he had a lot to learn from his Partner about how to take care of Jared properly in these early stages. For now, he could support Misha and prepare some food for Jared and do his best not to breakdown.

He carried a bowl of applesauce and bottle of pureed peas and carrots up the stairs, relieved at least not to hear any crying or screaming. Peeking through the cracked door, he saw Misha on the floor, leaning against the wall by the crib and cradling Jared against his chest. Blinking in surprise, Jensen quietly opened the door a bit more to see the scene more clearly.

Jared’s back was to Jensen and his face was buried against Misha’s chest. He had one hand free of its mitt and was clenching the fabric of the older man’s sweatshirt. Misha was stroking Jared’s cropped hair with one hand while his other arm was wrapped around Jared’s back, holding him close. From what Jensen could see, his partner was whispering something to Jared, and the boy definitely wasn’t struggling

The sight warmed Jensen’s heart, and it was in that moment that he remembered why it would all be worth it. He had no idea what MIsha had done to get the boy to calm down so quickly, but the point was that he _had._ And there he was, in his specially made clothes in his specially made room; content to lie against his new Father. It had to be fate; just like had suspected the moment he had set eyes on the boy back in August. Jensen could stand there and watch his Partner and their boy for hours, basking in the beauty and peace of the scene in front of him.

Reluctant as he was to interrupt the moment, he knew they needed to get something more substantial in Jared than just milk. Quietly as he could, Jensen stepped into the room and padded over to where his family (His _Family_ ) was sitting. He flashed Misha a gentle smile, unable to keep his eyes off of Jared as he sat next to them. The boy’s eyes were closed, though his grip on Misha’s sweatshirt suggested that he was still awake. Misha had taken off the blindfold and gag, perhaps as way to convince Jared they really were not trying to hurt him. He certainly seemed peaceful enough, and even seemed to be comfortable in Misha’s lap.

“You’re a natural, you know that?” Jensen whispered softly, leaning in to kiss Misha sweetly. “Could have stood there and watched you two forever.”

Misha sighed, and smiled gently, looking down at Jared briefly before turning his gaze to Jensen. “I had to give him something to calm down. Hes still coherent though, and hasn’t been fighting. Its been good.”

Misha moved his hand from Jared’s hair to stroke his cheek gently. “Jared. Can you open your eyes for me baby boy?”

Jensen’s breath nearly caught in his throat as Jared shifted in Misha’s arms. Then slowly, ever so slowly, Jared opened those bright hazel-green eyes and peered up at the both of them. He looked confused and blinked a few times before yawning suddenly and leaning his head back against Misha’s chest. His eyes were drooping now, but he was fighting to keep them open, eyes having a hard time focusing on one thing, but making no move to say anything or reach toward them.

“Hey Jay.” Jensen finally croaked out softly. He had probably witnessed one of the most beautiful things in the world, and it took all he had to not bundle the boy into his arm and kiss him all over. “Look at you, being so good for Papa Misha. Such a good baby, a good boy.”

“Hmn…” Misha dipped down to press a kiss to Jared’s hair. “I think once he eats, he’ll be ready to try getting his diaper changed again.”

Jared looked up at Misha, his brow furrowing a bit and his hand twisting the material of the sweatshirt even more. Jared opened his mouth, and let out a loose string of mumbles that made no sense, though he hardly seemed to notice. It was cute, really and the pout that Jared aimed up at them afterwards only served to make him even more adorable.

Jensen started with the applesauce first. Slipping spoonfuls into Jared’s mouth, and helping him catch the bits that fell. The drug was making the boy’s ability to chew a bit difficult, but Jensen made sure the majority ended up in his mouth and not on his clothes. The bottle went much easier, Jared sucking down nearly half the bottle on his own before he pulled a face and turned away. Jensen and Misha didn’t mind too much, he’d eaten the rest of his meal without complaint and one more bottle before bed would assure that he got enough nutrients for the day.

“Your just such a good boy.” Misha cooed, just as in awe as Jensen as to how well things were going again. “We are so proud of you, Jared.”

Jensen could have sworn he saw Jared’s eyes light up at that. He figured they might as well go right into changing Jared, and got up to lay out the blanket and grab the diaper, wipes and powder. They eased Jared back on the blanket, chuckling at his reluctance to let go of Misha’s sweatshirt. Misha grabbed one of the stuffed animals lying around the room and Jared instantly latched onto it like a lifeline.

They got to work undressing him and cleaning him up, pleased that he had both peed and released his bowels. The last thing they needed was for Jared to get constipated, which would no doubt making him even more upset. Jared barely reacted to what was being done to him. Not even when Jensen gently cleaned his cock and balls. At one point they had considered some sort of chastity device to stop Jared from ever getting hard. But they had yet to find one that they felt comfortable letting their boy wear all day, everyday. And all other options seemed a bit too permanent to consider yet.

Now though, it seemed that perhaps with a bit of conditioning, it wouldn’t really be an issue. Jensen couldn’t help but smile as he put the fresh diaper on Jared, watching as Misha rubbed the boy’s stomach gently, causing him to yawn and close his eyes. Jensen couldn't help but be amused as they got the boy back into his crib and put on his mitts and sleepmask. If giving Jared a bit of drugs made him so content and docile like he was now, then they might just have to start using it as a major tool in getting Jared settled into his new role.

 


	5. Adoringly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched ten straight hours of Game of Thrones today on four hours of sleep. But I was determined to get this up tonight/this morning. I had to edit some things just now, so forgive me if theres parts that sound a bit medieval-y. GoT, you know.
> 
> Thanks for all the wonderful comments! We're coming down the straight now!

For a week Jared had managed to stick to the plan of doing whatever Jensen and Misha wanted. As it turned out, they demanded very little of him except his cooperation, and even the few times he did fuss – the only thing they did was quiet him with gentle words and loving touches. During the nights he would lay in his cage – his _crib_ – body tense, and holding his breath, still waiting for the other shoe to drop, knowing there was no way they could just be contented with babying him. He was still waiting for the sex part which he was sure would crop of eventually, and at this point he wanted to get it over with sooner rather than later.

He wasn’t sure what day of the week it was, only that it had been five days since the first time he had let Misha and Jensen change his diaper without being held down. Thinking about it made him flush red and want to cry, but for the most part he managed to just ignore the fact that it happened. They had obviously drugged him to keep him calm during the day, and Jared was beginning to be alright with it. Whatever they gave him made him relaxed and unafraid, the embarrassment was minimal and half the time he had no idea what was being done to him. It was preferable to when he woke up in the mornings, alone and afraid – replaying all the events that led up to his capture over and over again in his mind. The drugs that came with his lunch became a godsend, the one thing that he took without disgust. At least he could say the things he did while under the influence were no fault of his own. 

This particular morning, Jared was waiting anxiously for breakfast. They had yet to move onto solid foods, and he found himself hungry more often than not. He sighed as he rubbed his face against the soft pillow under his cheek, calmed by the scent of vanilla. It reminded Jared that he hadn’t had a proper bath or shower since he had first awakened to find himself trapped, though Misha and Jensen made sure to wipe him down every day. He supposed that they were too afraid he would try to run without his ‘gear’ on. And maybe a few days ago that had been true, but when he wasn’t drugged he was tired and hungry, not to mention he hadn’t walked or even really moved by himself in so long. He doubted he would make it to the stairs in the state he was in.

The creaking of the door had Jared immediately turning his head, feeling a surprising lift at not being alone with his thoughts anymore. He had become like a cat when it heard a can of food being opened. An open door meant he was going to be fed or changed and those were the best things he could hope for in his situation.

“Good morning Jay.” It was Jensen this time around. “Hope you slept well. We’ve got a treat for you this morning.”

That perked Jared up, though he couldn’t tell if Jensen even noticed. The crib jostled as the side was lowered and Jared felt himself being tugged into Jensen’s arms. Unlike usual though, he wasn’t carried to the couch a few feet away. Despite having a sleepmask, Jared turned his head trying to get some sense of where he was being taken. Dread pooled in his belly at the thought that they were finally selling him to some pervert instead of keeping him for themselves. That fear made him wiggle in Jensen’s arms and whine through the pacifier gag in his mouth.

“Whoa, whoa, hold on there.” Jensen held him tighter and stopped in his tracks. “Hey, its okay, baby. I’m just taking you to the bathroom. You’ve earned a nice, hot bath. Your Papa Misha already got it all ready for you.”

Hearing that instantly calmed Jared, and his tense muscles loosened in relief. His mind had been reeling with the possibilities of who was going to be taking him and where, but the idea that he was staying with them gave him a strange sense of relief. Strange in the fact that there was no way he should be having good feelings about being with them, but there it was. His body was used to Jensen’s touch and the timbre of his voice. It was sick, but at this point Jared was willing to cling to anything that gave him comfort.

“Alright, baby boy.” Jensen hummed gently as he lowered Jared to the floor. “You sit tight.”

There wasn’t much else Jared could do. He listened to the sound of Jensen moving around and the recognizable click of the door being closed and then locked. Swallowing thickly, he quickly put all notions of trying to escape out of his head. Besides, even if the door was unlocked he didn’t want to try to escape wet and naked onto the street. He leaned his head back against the wall, startling a little when he felt a hand reaching around to loose the straps of the pacifier gag in his mouth. Once he was free, he flexed his jaw – surprised and relieved not to have something suddenly jammed back into his mouth.

Grateful for that bit of comfort, he didn’t struggle as Jensen undressed him and took off his diaper.  He wrinkled his nose a bit at the smell of urine, but other than that simply let Jensen move him however he pleased. Jensen quickly scooped him into his arms and the next thing Jared knew he was being lowered into delicious warm, vanilla scented water. Even he couldn’t resist how good it felt and sighed as his muscles relaxed.

He heard Jensen chuckle next to him. “Bet that feels good, huh?”

Jared nodded absentmindedly, the warm water caressing his body and the vanilla scent lulling him into a sort of sleepy calm. A gentle hand on his back moved him to lean forward and he went without complaint, sighing as he felt a cloth gently washing his back, while another hand gently rubbed his stomach. As much sleep as Jared got during the night, he could see himself easily falling asleep again right then and there with the warm water and gentle touch soothing him.

“Bet you’re wondering where Papa Misha is.” Jensen murmured gently as he continued to wash Jared. “Told him I wanted to spend some quality time with you. So hes in charge of breakfast.”

Jared couldn’t really say he had been anxiously wondering where Misha was. But the thought had crossed his mind; usually the two of them were in together – to keep Jared from overpowering one or the other. He was a little worried by what Jensen meant by ‘quality’ and if it was just washing or if it included something else.

“You’ve been quiet this last week, Jay.” Jensen continued, moving to his arms now. “And I know its not because you’re settled. I know you’re scared – and its okay if you are. But if you have to let it out, you should. When you cry, when you scream, when you fight – that’s not gonna drive us away. Its going to make us hold on tighter because we want to make you happy. 

Jared shifted uneasily, his fingers clenching and unclenching against his thighs. Reasonably he could probably tell Jensen off right that moment, explain that he was anything but happy and that he hated both of them. And somehow Jared knew that if he went off like that it would probably okay. In fact Jensen had just said he was more than welcome to do that, and for some reason it made Jared feel guilty to want to. Misha and Jensen were just so _earnest_ about the whole thing. Even as rightly mad as he was – the thought of being able to yell at them unabated felt wrong. 

“I know we don’t give you a lot of choices, Jay. Because we know whats best for you and only do things we know will help you.” Jared felt his chin being tilted up and he could feel Jensen’s eyes on his face. “But I’ll ask you now, just this time. Is there anything you need?’

And Jared had no idea how he was supposed to respond to that. The question was so loaded, so monumentally complex that he ad no idea what to say. What he _needed?_ Because he knew that he didn’t _need_ to be free, and he realized that saying that he needed to be let go would only be scoffed at. Yet he could tell Jensen was serious with his request, and for a terrifying moment he realized that he couldn’t think of anything he needed that Jensen could get him. He had food, clothing, a warm bed – god this was all so fucked up.

“I…” Jared’s voice cracked from lack of use and he turned his head away from Jensen, tucking it down to his chest. “I want my Mama..”

With that, Jared began to cry. Quietly, and brokenly with soft gasps and hiccups that caught in his throat. His body shivered, even in the warmth of the water as he let out all the pent of emotion from the last few days spill from underneath the sleepmask and drop into the tub. He half suspected that Jensen would gag him again for even mentioning anyone from outside the house, but instead he felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders.

“I know baby, I know. You’re so scared.” Jensen’s voice was soft and full of empathy. “But I promise you, Jared. You are safe here, safer than anywhere you will ever be in your life. Even if you can’t believe me right now.”

A hand brushed through Jared’s hair and his head was tipped up again.

“Oh Jay, you are the most precious thing in the world.” Jensen’s voice sounded awed. “And everyday I wonder why your Mother couldn’t see that. Why she didn’t want you to come home, why she would leave you alone for the Holidays. No parent should be so cruel to their child.” 

Jared coughed up a sob, leaning into Jensen’s chest and shaking his head. He didn’t want to think about that, the reason that he had been forced to stay with Misha and Jensen. He didn’t want to think about her disgust and her fear – he wanted to remember bright smiles and warm hugs. The smell of cake batter and the taste of homemade lemonade.

“No..” He croaked, eyes burning behind the sleepmask. “No, please. I’m so sorry.”

“Its not your fault, Jared.” Jensen said soothingly, stroking his hair. “Its not your fault that she didn’t see the gift she had been given. You won’t be left alone ever again Jared. We will always be here for you. Have we let you down, yet?”

Jared shook his head, sniffling still and trembling. Kidnapping and drugging aside, the two older men weren’t letting him starve or waste away. They seemed to revel in giving Jared attention – like they couldn’t get enough of touching him and…and _loving_ him. The thought nearly broke Jared at that point, as he leaned fully into Jensen’s embrace, as he realized how long it had been since he had felt so genuinely loved and cared for. How his own Mother hadn’t even hugged him goodbye after 18 years and these two men made him feel cherished like no one ever had.

 

Over the next two days, Jared felt _off_.

His mind was reeling as he thought of his Mother, and the life he knew _before_ all this had happened. Before he had met Jensen and Misha and been kidnapped. He thought of the friends he had left when he moved to New Haven. He remembered Jessica was the first person he kissed – and the last girl he ever thought he might like. They had promised to keep in touch after graduation but never did. But Jared was never unhappy with his life, friends came and went all the time – you just had to try and make new ones.

Unless, of course, your new friends turned out to be psychopaths.

Kind, gentle and loving psychopaths – but psychopaths nonetheless.

It was getting harder and harder for Jared to justify to himself being angry with the two older men. Logically, he knew he should despise them and be horrified by what they were doing. But when they were the ones feeding him and cuddling him and providing his only human contact during the day – it was hard to hold onto his grudge. They were so kind to him – even when he was grumpy and rude. And the fact that they cleaned up when he messed himself – god, they were practically angels. Jared’s honest to god biggest problem at the moment was boredom.

Thinking made his head hurt, but when Misha and Jensen weren’t around – his only other option was to sleep. It was one of the reason’s he was waiting for something big to happen next – because this couldn’t be all that they wanted from him. Sure, cuddling every so often was nice – but you could get a puppy for that sort of thing. No, Jared had to be destined for bigger and better things.

He sighed, and flipped onto his stomach, dragging his mitts along the bars of the crib. His pacifier hung around his neck and he gamely tried to flip it back up into his mouth. He no longer had to be forced to take his pacifier, it had become a source of comfort for him when he was tired – and he had an embarrassing habit of chewing or sucking on things that weren’t his pacifier whenever he was drowsy.

Jared had woken up from his after lunch nap a while ago. They had cut down on the amount o drugs he was taking during his meals and so during lunch he had a very small dose. Just enough to start him off to sleep and keep him in it for what he suspected was only a few hours. Now though, he was stuck in the dark until someone came and got him. 

He immediately perked up as the door opened and the lights flicked on, wincing a little as his eyes adjusted. Misha smiled at him from the doorway, then glanced over his shoulder and shouted something down the hall. With a chuckle, he walked over to crib – smiling brightly at Jared and reaching down to ruffle the boy’s hair.

“Aren’t you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this afternoon.” His bright blue eyes were warm as he lowered the crib’s gate. “Did you have a good nap?” 

Jared blinked up at him and sat up, shrugging a little in answer to his question. He supposed every nap was a good nap because it kept him from thinking too much about the current situation.

“Hmn, did you use your diaper?” Jared shook his head ‘no’, even as Misha still felt his bottom to make sure it was true. Honestly, Jared had learned it was better not to lie about these things. They were going to find out sooner or latter. 

Misha helped him out of the crib, but instead of taking him to the couch like normal – he let him sit on the floor, unrestrained. Then the older man fetched one of Jared’s blankets – a purple one with airplanes on it, and spread it out on the floor. Jared stared at him curiously, not moving a muscle – and quite confused by the fact that he wasn’t be restrained in anyway. The doorway was cracked and although he had his mitts on – the blindfold and earplugs were both gone. This bothered him immensely, and he began to chew on his pacifier anxiously. 

“Jensen!” Misha yelled, even as he picked up some baby wipes and put them on the blanket. Tutting, he shook his head and looked over at Jared. “Your Papa just might have gotten lost.”

Jared tilted his head a little, knitting his brows together in apparent confusion. Misha just laughed and ruffled his hair again – finding him completely adorable at the moment.

Jensen came running in a few minutes later, clutching a paper bag in his hand and looking a bit frazzled. He grinned sheepishly at Misha as he held up the bag almost triumphantly.

“Found it – sterilized it just incase.” He then looked to Jared, sitting on the floor and his mouth split into a wide smile and his eyes brightened. He hurried over and dropped to his knees beside Jared, kissing him wetly on the forehead before smoothing a hand through his hair. “Hey baby, look at you.”

“Mmhm.” Misha nodded. “Hes been sitting there like an absolute angel.”

Jensen squeezed Jared tightly, and it took the boy a moment to realize that they were congratulating him for not trying to escape. Apparently they had been aware that he was unrestrained and the door was open and this had all been an elaborate test. Jared’s cheeks burned with humiliation – but he still couldn’t stop his heart from doing a little jump at the praise that he was receiving.

“Alright, lay down, Jay.” Misha sat on the floor and helped him lean back on the blanket.

Jared frowned, but let himself be laid back. He had not been lying when he told Misha he didn’t need to be changed. But he supposed it wouldn’t really be that much of a pain to let them change his diaper now. All he had to do was sit back and close his eyes. He sighed as Misha zipped down the sleeper and pulled out his legs and diapered bottom. It was a little cold, compared to how warm and cozy he usually felt. He squirmed a bit, as Jensen tickled his feet gently – causing both of the older men to laugh.

“Hey, Jared.” Misha was suddenly by his head, stroking a hand through his hair. “I need you to keep your eyes closed.” 

Jared nodded his head ever so slightly, closing his eyes and sucking on his pacifier. 

Jensen took off his diaper, balling it up and putting it to the side. Then he gently began to clean Jared’s genitals with a wipe – causing him to shiver a bit. During his last bath, they had used some sort of cream to remove all of his hair – it had burned for a little – but when he fussed, it was quickly washed off. Being smooth down there was odd – but not high on Jared’s list of things to complain about.

“I need you to hold still for me, Jared.” Jensen’s voice was soothing and firm. “Won’t let anything happen to you.”

Jared let out a whine around his pacifier, and tensed a little – even as Misha coo-ed gentle words into his ear. He didn’t like the way this was heading – and he envisioned terrible things happening. For a moment his mind flashed to porn that he had watched on his nights off. And he wondered if this was it – they were finally going to fuck him or stick something in him and make this sick game complete.

But aside from the baby wipe, his ass wasn’t touched. Instead – gentle fingers smoothed cream over his cock, which he had come to find was normal enough after baths and diaper changes. What wasn’t normal was the sensation of something suddenly being pulled over his cock – but not like a condom or something with give – it was slick and smooth, but it didn’t really hurt. However it didn’t mean he liked the feeling at all.

“Jared, calm down.” Misha was quick to hold onto the boy’s shoulders as soon as he saw signs of agitation. “Its going to be okay – I’m right here.”

He glanced down at Jensen who was working on putting the chastity-device on Jared as quickly and efficiently as possible. The boy was whining, obviously not happy with the decision, but had yet to kick out or try and move. Eventually, the pink silicone device was securely on and the lock in place so that there was no way it would be coming off – even when Jared earned the right to have his hands free.

“There we go.” Jensen patted Jared’s thigh. “Not so bad, was it?”

Jared was wiggling a little against Misha, trying to get a look at what they had done to him. But Misha wasn’t having it and instead, kept him lying down as Jensen zipped him back into his sleeper. After everything was done, Misha still held him – whispering soothing words and stroking his hair with one hand.

“There you go.” Misha kissed Jared’s forehead. “Your alright, see?” 

Jared gripped the pacifier hard between his teeth – hazel eyes staring up in fear. Moving his hips a little – Jared discovered that despite whatever was clinging to his penis and balls – he wasn’t in pain. It was just odd – and a little uncomfortable. He let out a breath and nodded slowly.

“All we did was put you in something to keep you from getting hard, okay?” Misha explained gently. “But you’ll still be able to pee – its not going to get in the way of anything, Jared. Its just a precaution.”

Jared nodded, guessing that the logic made sense. He couldn’t be bothered to really care because he couldn’t imagine getting an erection under these circumstances at all. And he was much more pre-occupied with the fact that they had yet to stick anything up his ass and it looked like it was going to stay that way. Any sex drive Jared might have had was effectively far, far away from this situation and he was somewhat relieved to find that this was the plan all along. 

“So proud of you baby.” Jensen’s voice came from the other side and Jared turned to look up at him. “You took that so well.”

And Jared _was_ taking it well. And it was odd, yes – but it didn’t feel wrong. Jared didn’t like crying, it exhausted him and made his face feel tight and itchy. Jensen and Misha were still being kind to him and he would rather have them happy than kick up a fuss and upset their good mood, Jared just closed his eyes and let them cradle him close. He would worry about the other things later when he had time – right now he just wanted to enjoy the contact and warmth of these two people. These two strange, odd people who he was coming to realize were some of the kindest, gentlest people he had ever known.

 

Jared was acting strangely lately – in a way that bothered Jensen a great deal.           

Their baby boy didn’t often seem excited about the things they did to him to make him comfortable. Especially during meals and diaper-changing, those were the times when he most pulled faces or pretended to be somewhere else. Only during baths and extended cuddles did Jared truly seem pleased, even when he was trying to hide it.

But lately, he had been deathly quiet and utterly devoid of emotion. He moved and flopped into whatever position Jensen or Misha required him to be in. He ate very little, but did not try to squirm away when a spoon or bottle was put in his mouth. No, he just let the food spill out, his jaw slack and his eyes unfocused and uninterested in the goings on. He slept more than usual and no longer seemed appropriately interested in the mornings.

Even his baths, the one time Jared truly seemed to enjoy himself, there was nothing. He sat straight, and stared ahead. No acknowledgement that Jensen was even there, not out of anger it seemed – but because he just didn’t seem to notice anything was being said or done to him.

And Jensen did worry about going back to school now, not because he was afraid of being found out. No, because there was a finally established routine that they had settled into, which in turn had seemed to be helping Jared settle .  With Jensen going back to work, he would be around much less and he often took care of Jared’s lunch, as well as spending time with him during afternoon. And with his sudden state of something almost akin to depression, Jensen feared leaving the boy alone to long.

Not that he didn’t trust Misha. His partner would be fine, and probably understood what was going on his Jared’s head more than anyone. But Jensen was a Father now; he held the right to complain. 

With that thought he smiled down at the boy in his lap. 

“What are you thinking of, big boy?” Jensen asked gently as he stroked Jared’s hair. The boy’s eyes were drooping; his lunch of peas and carrots with a side of warm milk had made him drowsy. Jensen had gone to put Jared down for nap afterwards, but Jared had frowned just the tiniest bit and it was enough that Jensen relented and brought him to his bedroom to cuddle. “Misha is going to kill me for coddling you. I can’t help it though.” 

Jared shifted a little and looked up at him with those sleepy hazel eyes, he opened his mouth as though he were about to say something, then simply sighed and closed his eyes. Jensen ran a finger over the boy’s cheek, and then over his lips – fascinated by the smooth beautiful contours his face before gently pushing a finger between Jared’s soft, pink lips. 

“There you go. Just like your pacifier, hm? It’ll help you get to sleep.” Jensen spoke softly, tightening his hold on the boy. “Its okay, baby, I know you’re tired.” He began to rock him gently.

_Rock-a-bye Jared, in the tree top,_

_When bough breaks, the cradle will drop._

_Down will come Jared, cradle and all,_

_Papa will catch you before you fall.”_

By the end of the song, Jared was asleep, still suckling instinctively at Jensen’s finger. He couldn’t help but smile at the ease at which he had gotten Jared to fall asleep. No whimpering or crying required. Now if only he didn’t have to go back to work so soon. Jensen sighed and kissed Jared’s forehead, moving carefully so that Jared was curled up in the middle of the bed. He hurried and fetched one of Jared’s blankets and tucked it around him, kissing his head again before tip-toeing out and closing the door.

He and Misha hadn’t really gotten to thinking about Jared being in other parts of the house alone. Though he had been all over the second floor, the only place he was every allowed to be by himself was inside of his crib. But Jensen figured with the amount of progress they were making, soon he would be allowed downstairs while they were cooking or working at the dining room table. And this would be at test to see how far they had come. 

 

The last few days had been almost unbearably awful, and yet at the same time oddly secure. After Jensen had put the… the chastity-device on him, an unfamiliar wave of depression hit him. It wasn’t like anything he had felt recently, there was no anger, no tears – just a bone-deep, unyielding numbness. Considering how calm he had been after the ordeal, Jared had been almost surprised when he found himself slipping into such a state.

While previously he had risen whenever Misha and Jensen came to tend to him during the morning, he could not bring himself to care the next morning. It was as though they had taken that final bit of what had made him a man and rendered it useless to him. He had never even considered sex while in their care, but the sudden realization that he could not have it even if he wanted it made him feel so wrong that there was no way to describe it in words.

When Misha and Jensen fed him, he ate very little. He did not struggle when they pushed the bottle between his lips, but he refused to suck on whatever pureed food they had prepared. And when he was changed he no longer made a fuss, and baths no longer gave him comfort. This seemed to disturb Jensen most of all.

They had started bringing him to their bedroom during the evenings. With Jared in the middle, they would turn the TV on and find some harmless program that Jared would tune out of during first fifteen minutes. Generally he tried to fall asleep and when he could no longer sleep, he would curl up and stare off into space. Misha and Jensen both tried to engage him – Jensen especially. The green-eyed man seemed bit odd lately, at one moment it crossed Jared’s mind that Jensen was still employed at the school. He had no idea if that was what was getting Jensen agitated, and honestly didn’t care enough to dwell on it.

So when Jensen left Jared alone for the first time in their bedroom – he found himself able to sleep for only a little while. At least when he woke up there was a different show on TV than what he remembered, though Jared’s memory seemed scrambled lately.

It occurred to him that he could possibly roll out of bed, crawl across the floor and attempted to open the door without detection. But then he considered, what would happen hen? Would he slide as silently as he could down the stairs, then crawl through their kitchen and living room to find the front door? And on the off chance that he could unlock the door (because it would no doubt he locked), then would he crawl out onto their perfect yard onto their perfect street?

It was a fool’s hope to try and escape from this place. Gilded cage as it was, it was a cage – carefully kept and guarded.

If he were to make it outside, any who came upon him would immediately think there was something wrong with him. He was sporting a red, fluffy, sleeper with footies and ladybug designs.  A pacifier hung around his neck and a diaper on his bottom. It would be easy for Misha and Jensen to insist that he was their mentally handicapped ward who needed strict supervision and had delusions of being kidnapped, a symptom of whatever disease they assigned him.

It was around now that Jared was truly beginning to see how hopeless it was.

Even after he awoke, he simply stared off at the wall. A generic painting of a golden field with horses off in the distance caught his eye, but did not hold his attention. Not much did these days. 

Instead he lay, curled up on his side and waited for his captors – no, perhaps ‘keepers’ was a better word. He waited for his keepers to return to him and do as they pleased. 

 

“Come on Jared, you can do it. Just like Papa Jensen showed you.” Misha was sitting all the way on the other side of the room, while Jensen was around the halfway point between them similarly beckoning Jared to come forward.

They had spent a good half an hour already trying to get Jared to start crawling and so far their baby seemed extremely unhappy about the situation. For nearly one and a half months, they hardly let Jared move on his own, much less crawl anywhere. They had wanted to make sure the boy was completely settled in his new role before they gave him any sort of free reign to do as he pleased. He had made astoundingly fast progress  - quickly earning his hearing and sight during the first month alone. Having his mouth free of a pacifier came along less quickly, and during the night he still had to have it strapped in so that he would not make too much noise. 

After they had stopped having to drug his milk, they made him keep the mitts. Fully conscious, Jared seemed to like to pull on things like hair, or try and push away whenever he got upset about a changing or a feeding. The mitts certainly calmed him down, but in the same way they also seemed to make him depressed.

In fact ever since Jensen had gone back to school Jared had been quite depressed. He didn’t fight very much, and he didn’t cry very much either. He ate as little as he could get away with and seemed to sleep more than normal as well. Misha guessed that he was used to having Jensen around, and that the part of his brain that was resisting succumbing to his baby-state had realized that his chances of leaving were basically non-existent. And Jared’s day to day routine was still rather boring, as he kept with the schedule of newborn who could not yet be left on their own except for to sleep. He needed enrichment, and hopefully being able to crawl would give him a spark.

Jared though didn’t seem to be getting with the program, instead he sat on the floor, leaning against his crib and looking resolutely at anything that wasn’t Misha or Jensen.

“Jared, come on.” Misha called again. “If you crawl to me, maybe you can have chocolate pudding for dessert tonight.”

“Misha.” Jensen admonished, rolling his eyes. “And you say I’m soft.”

“Positive re-enforcement is not the same thing as being soft.” Misha said loftily. “Chocolate pudding and Cherry Jello.”

Misha watched as the corner of Jared’s mouth twitched, and it was obvious the boy was actively listening and trying to ignore them. He had a feeling that this was something that wasn’t going to crack so easily. Jared hadn’t had anything sweet since he had come to live with them and he doubted that he was desperate enough for that now.

“Jared, I’m going to count to three.” Misha hardened his voice. “If you don’t start, Jensen will get your pacifier and you’ll go to bed without dinner.”

He obviously didn’t plan on going through with that last part, but it definitely got Jared’s attention. He certainly did not look happy, but the boy eventually got on his hands and knees, looking at the floor and he shuffled himself across the carpet towards Misha. Jensen met him halfway, coo-ing and showering him with praise as he finished the rest of the crawl with him. 

“Good boy, Jay.” Misha lifted the boy’s chin as he reached him. Jared’s face was flushed red, and his hazel eyes looked off to the side. He was obviously embarrassed, as he always was whenever he did something like this. They were slowly working out of him being embarrassed, like Jared’s affinity for sucking on things whenever he was tired, or his obvious contentment during bath time. These things obviously made the boy happy, and he shouldn’t be embarrassed when he expressed it.

“Now you can spend time outside of your crib and play with the toys we bought you.” Jensen explained as he stroked a hand through Jared’s hair. “You won’t have to rely on us to carry you everywhere.”

Misha chuckled gently, as much as they liked holding and cuddling their boy, Jared was _big._ Trips to the bath or their bedroom were often one-way things with huge rest periods in between. With Jared crawling, neither Jensen nor Misha would have to worry about hurting themselves and they’d be able to get where they needed to quicker.

Jared finally looked at Jensen and narrowed his eyes in suspicion and tilted his head. It was the toy thing that must have caught his interest, and Jensen smiled knowingly. Getting up, he beckoned Jared to follow him over to the large toy chest against the wall beneath the blacked out window.

“This is your toy chest. Whenever your awake and out of bed you can play with your toys.” Jared’s eyes seemed to light up with curiosity at Jensen’s explanation. It was the strongest emotion Misha had seen on his face in ages.

Jensen opened the toy chest and immediately Jared dipped into it and pulled out the first thing he touched. A medium-sized plastic Basketball, and immediately Misha knew this was a bad idea. Jared stared at the toy in his hand, his hazel eyes becoming unreadable and his body tense. He didn’t move or make a sound, simply stared at it – unblinking and still. Slowly, Jensen took the basketball from Jared’s hands – which seemed to snap the boy out of his enchantment and cause him to turn away from the toy box and bring his knees to his chest.

“Oh baby.” Misha swooped in quickly, casting a worried glance over his shoulder at Jensen. “Its okay, Jay. Its just a toy. And you never have to play with it if you don’t want to. We’ll even get rid of it.”

Jared’s head snapped up and he vehemently shook his head. He opened his mouth, seeming to want to say something – but quickly closed it again casting his eyes downward.

“Do you want it, Jay? Its okay if you do.” Jensen carefully wrapped an arm around the boy as if he might bolt if he was startled. “Its okay for you to want this. It can even go in the bath with you later.”

And then Jared looked up at Jensen with hesitant, and searching hazel eyes – like he wasn’t quite sure he could trust what the older man was saying. But eventually, he reached for the ball in Jensen’s hand, biting his lip and glancing between it and Jensen like one of them might snap at him. Both Jensen and Misha waited with bated breath as Jared held the toy ball in his hand, until Jared looked up at Jensen with a slightly watery, but shy smile and nodded.

 


	6. Yearning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for such a late update. But its been a super busy time for me, and I've just been working on this story piece by piece.
> 
> This chapter isn't as edited as I would like, but I didn't feel like I could keep you waiting any longer. I hope you enjoy it!

“Hey Jay-bean, can you come over here for a second?” Misha smiled gently at Jared, who was busy stacking basic tan blocks on top of each other.

They were in Misha’s office now, one of their main areas ever since Misha had decided to start working on his writing during the day again. Jared had progressed somewhat quickly after the discovery of his toybox, and was finally engaging in his own personal play instead of having to be tempted by Misha or Jensen to play with one of his toys. At first Jared had been hesitant, he would play with the toy Basketball occasionally, though sometimes he would just start to tear-up if he so much as glanced at it. Eventually though, he gained confidence and during his playtime after breakfast he had started sorting through his toybox of his own accord.

Two weeks later, and Jared had seemed to be settling comfortably with his toys, at least in his own room. He would sit and play quietly when Misha or Jensen left him alone and while he still didn’t laugh or smile often, he never looked upset when he was playing. It was around that time that Misha decided to go back to work, if only to encourage Jared’s playing, while still being able to keep an eye on him without being a helicopter parent.

Playtime was then relocated to Misha’s office, and a new pile of toys began to build up in the middle of the room on a colorful playmat. And for the first time since they had gotten Jared home, everything seemed _normal._ This was exactly how family life was meant to be. 

But now that they had grown comfortable, Misha wanted to add something new for Jared, to keep stimulating his continued growth.

“Jay, stop with the blocks for a minute. I promise its for a good reason.” Misha tried once again to entice him over. Jared was remarkably good at being engrossed in whatever he was doing. Misha determined that it must be a coping mechanism as he got used to the length of the day. However he wasn’t sure that Jared losing himself in one particular activity was good for him. What if there was an accident and they needed to get his attention? It was just one more thing to work on though.

Finally Jared looked up, his hazel eyes questioning as he stopped what he was doing. He seemed confused at first, as this wasn’t a normal part of their routine. Misha beckoned him with a hand and Jared crawled over slowly, eyes focusing on the things Misha had laid out on the floor. He stopped about two feet away and sat back on his knees, eyes flickering between Misha and the new things on the floor. 

Misha chuckled gently and tapped the stack of construction paper he had laid out. “We’re going to try something new today.”  He picked up the box of crayons laying next to the construction paper and opened them, pouring a few out onto the floor. “I thought we could do some drawing, Jay. You can draw anything you want.”

Jared stared at the crayons as they lay on the floor, and then looked up at Misha with slightly narrowed eyes as though he were trying to figure out if this were some kind of trick. With a shrug, the older man took a piece of construction paper and took a few carefully selected crayons and laid himself comfortably out on the floor. Hopefully Jared would follow his example and do the same. 

“I think I’m going to draw our house.” Misha hummed as he began to color on the page. He was no artist, though that really wasn’t the point of this exercise. As well as being something new for Jared to experience and have fun with. He was hoping he could gage exactly what Jared was thinking and feeling. The one thing they had failed to do was get Jared to express his feelings with words. There were several reasons that Misha could think of for why Jared didn’t want to speak. He could be afraid, or nervous or maybe he just didn’t know what to say. As a baby he should have limited vocabulary, and there was no doubt it would make Jared uncomfortable to speak in ‘baby talk’. 

“Lets see, I think I’ll make the sky purple and the grass yellow.” Misha said cheerfully as he reached for another color. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jared gingerly take an orange piece of construction paper and lay down adjacent to Misha. Jared reached over and seemingly randomly chose some crayons and pulled them over to himself and began to color. Misha couldn’t make out what he was drawing from his own position, but that was all right – as long as Jared was participating.

Misha scribbled along dutifully for a while longer. Murmuring comments about his rapidly degrading drawing as he went a long. He had started with good intentions, but the more he added – the more it began looking like a cluttered mess. Around the time he started in on the theme park in their backyard, complete with ferris wheel, rollercoaster and dolphins did the whole thing just seem to turn into a mess of multicolored scribbles. 

Finally, when there wasn’t an open spot left, he put his crayon down and looked over at Jared, who seemed to still be concentrating quietly on the one picture. Misha put his chin on his hand and just watched for a while, a small smile playing across his lips. In there, somewhere – he knew there was a happy little boy waiting to blossom. It showed in Jared’s continued participation in these activities Misha thought up for him. Jared was more than accepting his fate now; he was actively participating in it. The thought made Misha’s heart warm, and he almost regretting having to break Jared out of his concentration. But it was getting closer to lunch, and he wanted a chance to look at the picture his boy had drawn and maybe even talk with him about it.

He scooted over to where Jared was, sitting next to him and leaning over just a bit. Surprisingly enough, Jared didn’t move, he just added the finishing touch of whatever color he was using then looked up at Misha with a curious expression. 

“Can I see what you drew?” Misha said, putting a hand gently on Jared’s back. The boy stiffened for a second before relaxing and nodding. He picked up his drawing and handed it to the older man.

Misha smiled and absentmindedly began rubbing Jared’s back as he looked over the picture. While Jared might never be an artist, he did a fairly recognizable rendering of a bathtub. The tub itself was white and the water light blue. In the tub was the Basketball, a shoe oddly enough and apparently a tree. Now Misha got the tub, he even got the rest of it – but the shoe and the tree were throwing him off at this point. 

“Are their trees growing in our bathtub?” Misha raised an eyebrow. “We’ll have to see about those, won’t we?”

Jared ducked his head and shrugged, wiggling a bit as though trying to get comfortable in his Onesie. Though Misha had just changed his diaper before breakfast, it might be time for another check before lunch. 

“Are trees in the bathtub a good thing?” Misha tilted his head a bit. The Basketball was a good thing; at least Jared didn’t like to bathe without the favored toy. And he figured a tree would be easier to explain than a shoe. “I mean you could be an outdoors man like your Papa Jensen.”

Jared looked at him suddenly, tilting his head. His eyes were bright and alert, as he inclined his head forward.

“What? “ Misha chuckled softly. “Guess you couldn’t guess from our stuffy neighborhood. But Jen is more an outdoors, wilderness guy. He likes camping, ‘roughing it’. When we retire he either wants to buy a ranch house and get some horses or buy a house on a lake somewhere and get a couple of dogs.”

He had Jared’s complete attention now, the boy eagerly leaning in toward him as he talked. It made sense now, why Jared picked the bathtub to draw. It was the one time he was alone with Jensen and he certainly seemed to like hearing about his other Papa. Misha couldn’t even bring himself to be jealous when he had his baby staring at him like this. 

“I kind of like the suburban life myself.” Misha shrugged and moved to stroke Jared’s hair. “What do you think? Horses or dogs?”

Misha wasn’t really expecting Jared to answer that. He figured though, if he kept asking these sorts of questions, eventually he’d find one that Jared really wanted to answer. He figured inevitably the question Jared answered would be a ‘yes or no’ question. He had opened his mouth to continue when he heard the faintest of whispers come from Jared’s direction. 

“What was that, Jay?” Misha asked softly, and slowly. His heart quickened a bit, and he had to stop himself from clutching at Jared’s hair a bit as he waited in anticipation. It could have been a fluke, but Misha could have sworn –

“Dogs.” His voice was whispery and raspy with miss-use. But there it was. Jared’s first word.

Oh god, Jared’s first word!

The boy ducked his head, a blush spreading a cross his face as Misha just stared, gaping like a fish out of water. His hand had stilled in Jared’s hair and it took him a moment to get himself under control. He hadn’t even considered it that way, but in the terms of rebirthing, Jared had just said his first word!

“Jared!” His voice was awed as he swooped down to gather the boy into his arms. He pressed a loud, wet kiss to the side of his head. “I’m so proud of you! Dogs? Dogs it is!” 

He couldn’t help but laugh as he nuzzled against Jared’s cheek. The poor boy was probably frightened out his mind, but he wasn’t struggling so Misha couldn’t bring himself to let go. 

“Oh just wait until I tell your Papa Jensen!” He let Jared go and cupped his cheeks gently, looking into his face and smiling. “Dogs!”

And Jared just looked back at him, hazel eyes wide with surprise and maybe even some alarm. Misha almost let him go, until he saw it – small, but there, the corner of Jared’s mouth twitched, almost like it was against the boy’s will. Without preamble, Misha leaned forward and nuzzled his nose against Jared’s, giggling gently as he pulled away – not caring if he sounded like a maniac.

And just like that, a tiny smile appeared on Jared’s face, even though his eyebrows knitted together a bit unsurely.

“Dogs.” Jared whispered again, gently and almost questioningly. Then he shrugged, blushing a little. “I like dogs.”

Misha’s heart almost danced out of his chest and for a moment he was floored, he couldn’t think of anything to say to this. It was progressing much faster than he thought, and now he wondered just how long Jared had been building up to this. 

“Yeah? Well I fucking love dogs.” Misha shook his head wonderingly and drew Jared in for another hug. “You can have all the dogs you want.”

 

 

 

That evening found Jared in a different place than usual. Misha had coaxed him downstairs after his afternoon nap, and set him up with toy cars in the dining room while he went to start cooking dinner. Jared honestly couldn’t be bothered with toy cars, he had never really been into cars in the first place and this was poor attempt at keeping him occupied downstairs where Misha could keep an eye on him.

He supposed it was because of his finally speaking today. It hadn’t been planned really, or pre-meditated. The main reason Jared had not spoken this whole time was because there was nothing he could say that would possibly change the situation. Not to mention earlier on, he had been terrified that saying one wrong thing would result in something even more awful happening to him. 

But after so many months (and he had no idea how long he had been there, it felt like _ages),_ he was willing to accept that all they wanted from him was, well – him. Albeit completely helpless and treated like a baby, fundamentally he was just himself. It put him in an odd position of disgust and acceptance. Natural human instinct said that he should feel highly violated by everything being done to him, but his own personal instincts just told him – _safe, warm, loved._

And god if that wasn’t hard to fight.

Especially seeing how ridiculously happy he had made Misha earlier this morning. Just by drawing a stupid picture of a bath and saying ‘dogs’. It had been a long time since he felt like he was legitimately making a difference in someone’s life. But every time he did something new or good – like playing on his own or even _smiling_ , Misha and Jensen would act like it was the greatest of gift they had ever received.

There was no way it could last – but god help him, he wanted it to. 

He wanted it to last, and he craved the attention like the baby they had forced him to become. He was unreasonably excited whenever Jensen came home and all too eager to please when Misha wanted to try out something new. 

But just because he knew he was starting to accept it – it didn’t mean he could show it. Jared spent so much time clamping down on his emotion, trapping everything inside that it would take his own initiative to let it show. The problem was whether or not he was brave enough to take that next step. And he honestly didn’t know.

Jared let out a soft sigh and he rolled one of the cars forcefully into the leg of the dining room table. It wasn’t loud enough to be disruptive, but he wished it were. Misha brought him down here; he would at least spend time with him. He frowned and picked up one of the cars, tossing it towards one of the chair, satisfied when it made a loud ‘clunk’.

“Jared?” Misha suddenly appeared in the entryway to the dining room and looked down at him, brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you…? Jared!”

The boy looked up at Misha innocently enough, eyes wide as he fiddled with the cars he hadn’t thrown. But Misha saw the slight scratch on the dark wood of the chair and frowned, picking up the toy car from where it landed. He shot a disapproving look at Jared and shook the hand with the car in it.

“We don’t throw our toys, especially not in the nice dining room.” He went over and crouched by Jared, setting the toy down. “If you have a problem you just need to tell me. No throwing, understand?”

Jared pursed his lips a bit, and then ducked his head in a faint act of a nod. He wanted to tell Misha that he was lonely, but he wasn’t quite sure how to say it. Not the way he was supposed to in a way that the older man would understand. Instead he just looked at his hands and chewed on his bottom lip, staying quiet.

Misha patted his head gently and then got up with a quick ‘hold on’. He hurried into the kitchen and Jared looked after him – half tempted to follow, before Misha was back, brandishing one of his pacifiers.

It was one of his very first ones; he had damn near gnawed through the thing in all his anxiety. He was surprised that Misha and Jensen had even kept it, and eagerly reached for it. Misha tutted though, and slipped it into Jared’s mouth for him, squeaking the boy’s nose a bit as he started to suck. 

“Now you be a good boy, Jay. Papa Jensen will be home soon.”

Jared nodded and attempted a smile around the pacifier. Whether Misha saw it or not, the older man smiled himself and went back to the kitchen. 

Jared was quiet and content for a while longer, sucking on his pacifier and passively rolling the toy cars along. It was calming, and with the scent of whatever Misha was cooking drifting in the air, he definitely didn’t feel as agitated. But as time went on, he became bored and abandoned his cars to crawl to the entranceway of the kitchen and peak his head inside.

Everything was shiny and clean, and very – baby-should-be-nowhere-near-it, but Misha was there, standing over the stove and Jared would much rather be where Misha was. For his part, the older man glanced his way and gave him a simple warning look and a smile as he continued to prepare dinner. Jared contented himself to lean against a cabinet and watch, passively sucking on his pacifier – content and maybe a bit more.

 

 

 

Jensen is exhausted, but happy to be home. They’ve reached the point where students are dropping courses left and right, then deciding they are absolutely _desperate_ to get into such-in-such class because if they don’t they will fail their major and their lives will be ruined. Its annoying and headache inducing – and for the last few years its probably been his least favorite part of work – that and having to break it to people when they haven’t managed to meet the requirements to graduate – either way, its been less of a struggle lately. And that’s mostly due to the fact that he has a wonderful Partner and a beautiful baby boy to come home to every afternoon.

He opens the door and is immediately assaulted by the scent of something delicious coming from the kitchen. It’s a new thing that Misha has taken up – this whole cooking legitimate meals. The older man was never fond of cooking, satisfied to leave it to Jensen or do some awful microwave dish that he claimed was supposedly as healthy as a home-cooked meal. But ever since Jared’s been home and Jensen started going back to work – Misha had taken up cooking with an unmatched fervor. In fact Misha has taken this whole ‘househusband’ thing with more gusto and passion that Jensen would have previously imagined. Its actually rather sweet – and its relaxed Misha immensely.  The older man was always busy, always going out and picking up new hobbies and habits. But Jared has settled him, hes more inclined to walk around in his pajamas and slippers, do laundry in the particular way that Jensen likes, not just all thrown together haphazardly.

And Jensen, dutiful ‘husband’ that he is comes home with his work and laptop and dumps them on the couch. Relieved and happy to be home with his family…..

God. Its finally happened. They’ve been domesticated.

That’s why he has a ridiculous grin on his face as he heads into the kitchen, slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. He was a little surprised, seeing Jared sitting there by he doorway of the kitchen. The boy is facing away from him, wearing a pale green onesie with his hair sticking up all over ht place and looking an absolute mess. Jensen couldn’t help but smile as he ruffled Jared’s hair gently, a promise to return once he greeted Misha.

Whether or not the older man knew he was home, Misha didn’t acknowledge his presence until  Jensen wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him against his chest and away from the stove. 

“Something smells _amazing_.” He murmured gently, nuzzling behind Misha’s ear. “What’re you making?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Misha said drily, squeezing Jensen’s arms and turning his head almost painfully to look up at him. “Your son missed you today.”

His _son._ A shiver ran through Jensen’s body and he glanced over at Jared who was perked up, watching them almost expectantly. He was torn between holding Misha even tighter and letting him go so that he could cuddle his _son._ Squeezing Misha gently, he sighed. “Marry me?” 

“Not right this second, I won’t. The food is going to burn.” Misha said half-seriously as he un-wound himself from Jensen’s embrace. Marriage was something they had more or less tactfully avoided early on and then completely forgotten about after a while. It seemed like a moot point after spending so long together. They were in love and both knew it, and maybe if they had some family they were desperate to show off for a wedding would be top priority. But they were both pretty settled in their personal lives and anyone who knew them, understood how deep their relationship went. Marriage was just never an issue.

“Think about it.” Jensen said seriously and then went over the Jared. He crouched next to the boy and pulled him into a hug, pleased when the boy didn’t struggle and in fact seemed to nuzzle into the contact. It amazed him that just a few months ago just changing him was an ordeal – and now he could cuddle and touch his boy as freely as he wanted. The soft scent of the vanilla lotion and shampoo that Jared used gave Jensen a particular sense of home that he had grown used to since their baby boy had come into their lives. And he let himself just hum gently and stroke Jared’s hair for a few moments before pulling back and looking at him.

Jared’s face had filled out since he had come to live here. He had begun to loose the muscles he had developed from Basketball and running, and they left his soft and pliable, innocent looking. He would have to shave Jared tonight, both his face and his privates most likely. Perhaps in a few months time they would consider laser hair removal, a more permanent solution than shave him so often. There were many more permanent things that they wanted for Jared, things that would be discussed soon enough – but not yet.

“I heard you missed me today.” Jensen smiled and kissed Jared’s forehead. Jared’s answering smile made him a chuckle a bit as he stroked the boy’s hair. “Did you have a good day with Papa Misha?”

Jared nodded a little, eyes flickering over to where Misha was getting out plates and beginning to finish the food. He briefly wondered what he would be served, most of his meals were puréed to a fine mush and the best parts were rare treats like pudding or applesauce. He sighed a little and once again focused on Jensen, happy at least that he was also home.

“Papa Jensen asked you a question, Jay.” Misha called from the stove. “You should use your words, I know he’d be very proud.”

Jensen’s eyes widened, and he held Jared’s face in his hands gently. He spoke in a whisper, like it was a secret between them. “Did you speak to Papa Misha today, Jay?”

For a long time, Jared’s baths had been considered a sort of ‘relief’ period. Where he could voice his struggles and frustrations’ with Jensen. He didn’t speak every night – but he had many times, but was quick to clam up as soon as he was out of the tub. Jensen had considered it a sign of Jared’s fear of punishment if he acted outside of their wishes. And both he and Misha had were sure that Jared’s silence was a way to cope and have some control over the situation. But if Jared was finally speaking to Misha, it meant something big. 

The boy ducked his head down, trying to hide from those excited green eyes. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it in much longer. Not when Misha and Jensen seemed so _happy_ with him – and it was something so simple. To deny these people who so obviously cared for him? How much longer could he reasonably afford to be so rude? He had gotten it all wrong. It wasn’t about being a silent slave, doing what they wanted. It was about giving himself over completely to their care – expressing whatever he needed or wanted in its most base form. Why did he insist or resisting the sort of freedom they were offering him?

“Yes.” Jared whispered softly, leaning in to rest his head against Jensen’s shoulder, cheeks burning hot with embarrassment. His voice sounded strange to his own ears, and had it not made Misha and Jensen so happy, he wouldn’t talk for that reason alone.

But Jensen _was happy_. So happy that he nearly crushed Jared in a tight hug, babbling praise into the boy’s ear and rocking him gently. Jared closed his eyes and let the warmth of Jensen’s praise wash over him – feeling much better about the situation with strong arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe. The one thing he had learned for certain was that Misha and Jensen would _never_ laugh at him with the intention of making fun of him. If he did something they thought was cute or silly, then they would be amused – but they never laughed when he messed something up or did something he felt was odd.

He had to be the luckiest boy in the world.

 

 

 

Dinner was a quiet, but comfortable affair as evening set in for the family.

Jared was seated between Misha and Jensen in a specially made chair that mimicked a highchair. It was a sturdy wooden chair, the same as the other dining room chairs, but it had black straps that when across Jared’s chest to keep him buckled and secure in the seat. A tray, with a sippy cup hole that slid back like on a high-chair, with additional straps on the sides of the chairs in-case they wanted to keep his hands at his sides as well. On the upper-back chair legs were foot-straps that kept Jared’s feet elevated and unable to touch the ground. It would be nearly impossible for him to get out of the high chair by himself, and he was more likely to hurt himself trying than anything.

Jared wasn’t very interested in escaping anyway, not when he had been pleasantly surprised to find himself getting served spaghetti and meat-sauce just like Jensen and Misha. His was on a cute little plate with animal faces, with a sippy cup full of apple juice in its holder. The only problem was the lack of silverware – which he guessed was on account of one of the older men feeding him. 

But Jensen and Misha simply began to eat their food, commenting on their days quietly through out their meal. They didn’t seem to be paying Jared any mind what so ever and didn’t seem to care that he had no silverware to feed himself with.

For the first time, Misha and Jensen were being truly cruel. Jared’s stomach rumbled unpleasantly, and he stared longingly at the plate of food in front of him. Biting his lip, he grabbed his sippy-cup and drank about half of the amount before setting it back down on the tray. Misha and Jensen were still ignoring him, and it was starting to make Jared frustrated. Whimpering a little, he struggled weakly against the straps holding him against the chair with no luck. But neither Jensen nor Misha spared him the slightest glance.

Tears pricked at Jared’s eyes and for a moment he felt like he wanted to cry. Maybe this was punishment for something he had done? 

Or rather, something he hadn’t…

‘ _Use your words.’_

Oh, there it was. Maybe he should have guessed that at the beginning.

“Misha… P-papa.” Jared’s voice was nearly inaudible as his cheeks flushed red. Neither of the older men heard him, or at least pretended they couldn’t. He whimpered, glancing down at his food before looking up and speaking a bi louder. “Papa, please.”

Finally they both look over at him, Misha looked especially pleased, as he lowers his fork. “Whats wrong, Jay?”

“M’hungry.” Jared mumbled, glancing at his plate. “Fork, please.”

“Awww, baby boy.” Misha smiled gently and reached over to ruffle his hair. “You don’t need a fork, just eat with your hands. Its alright.”

Jared stared at him; wide-eyed waiting to see if this was some sort of joke. He glanced at Jensen who just smiled and nodded encouragingly. The silence stretched on for a few more moments, before Jared finally relented and picked up a piece of sauce-covered spaghetti. Slowly, and trying to do it with as little mess as possible, he put it into his mouth.

It was delicious, and not nearly enough – but at this rate, he would never be able to finish.

Not unless he stuffed it all n his mouth like some sort of careless… child.

Right, he should have known – he should be better at this by now. Just because he had graduated from pureed food in a bottle, it didn’t mean he could get ahead of himself. He was still a child; he shouldn’t be eating the same way as Misha and Jensen. No – if he was hungry he ought to eat however way he pleased, he didn’t have time to deal with forks and knives and all that nonsense. And further more, he didn’t have to – because babies were messy and used their hands to eat if they wanted.

Trying not to think much more, Jared scooped up some of the noodles up, frowning a bit as individual strangles and sauce slipped through his fingers. Right, this was going to be more difficult than he had anticipated. Leaning forward, he began hurriedly gathering the food up with his hands and trying to stuff it into his mouth before it could fall back onto his plate. It was a messy job, and he was probably eating far faster than he really should. But it was good, solid food and he wanted it _now._

He ate and ate and ate until his fingers final encountered nothing but the left over sauce smeared around on his plate. He had made a mess of stray noodles and sauce all over the tray, as well as down the front of his shirt. His face and hands felt incredibly sticky and gross and he wrinkled his nose uncomfortably.

“Someone was certainly hungry.” Misha mused. “Drink your juice, Jared. Dessert after.”

Jared looked up and saw both Misha and Jensen watching him fondly. He ducked his head and grabbed for his cup with both hands, careful to keep a tight hold so that it didn’t slip out of his sauce-covered fingers. He drinks slowly now, his belly full and satisfied as he feels sleepiness suddenly creep upon him. Dessert is the last thing on his mind as his eyelids droop heavily 

“We might not make it to dessert.” Jensen’s voice was gentle and soft, realizing Jared’s tiredness. “I’m thinking I’ll go start his bathwater now.” 

“Sounds good, I’ll get this all cleaned up.”

Jared’s eyes finally drifted closed as he slumped comfortably in his chair and listened to the sounds of Misha and Jensen finishing their meal and cleaning up. In that moment, he couldn’t remember ever feeling so comfortable in all his life.

 

 

 

The bath was comfortable and warm like always, with the sweet scent of vanilla punctuated the air and lulling Jared into a peaceful sort of doze. After falling asleep in his high-chair, Jared had been woken up by Jensen and crawled an impossibly long way up the stairs to the bathroom for his bath. Jensen had lavished him with praise upon making the journey and talked softly about his day as he helped Jared out of his soiled clothes and diaper.

Now his head was leaning back against the tile of the bathroom wall as Jensen gently cleaned his legs and feet, being excruciatingly gentle as he always was. Bath time had become Jared’s favorite part of a day – it was right after dinner and right before bed. Jensen always made him feel like he was free to say anything he needed, get anything he wanted off his chest. In the beginning he had tried so hard to try and figure out what Jensen and Misha wanted him to be, but it had been frustrating and upsetting. All the while he was trying to be what they expected, he was fighting against what they truly wanted for him. 

Now though, Jared understood what this new life was. It wasn’t just about Misha and Jensen, but it was about himself as well. It was about letting go, discovering new things and learning to let himself be loved unconditionally. Misha and Jensen had so much good to teach him and so much love to give him, how he had managed to get it so wrong in the beginning, Jared still had no idea.

“You are so beautiful, Jared. My beautiful boy.” Jensen’s voice was soft, almost awed as he gently washed Jared’s face. “So perfect, so good for us.” 

Jared leaned his head back, lavishing in the attention and smiling a little at the praise. At times he felt like a prized poodle with all the praise and adoration he got from Jensen and Misha. He could never recall being treated like this when he was a child, even before his relationship with his family had become estranged. This was different, but it was good and he never wanted it to stop.

“Alright baby boy, going to get you all nice and smooth.” 

Jared blinked open his eyes a little and watched blearily as Jensen fetched hair removal gel and the razor, which was used only on his face. He briefly thought of the idea of permanent hair removal and wondered Jensen and Misha were thinking of it. As wonderful as it would be to be smooth all the time, he would miss having this intimate sort of ritual with Jensen. But it wasn’t really up to him – that was for Jensen and Misha to decide, and so far everything they had done for him turned out to be for the best. Whatever they chose, he would be all right with it.

“Want to tell me what you and Misha talked about today?” Jensen asked as he got to work ridding Jared of his hair. 

“Hmm.” Jared mumbled a little, debating not answering just because he was tired. “Wan’a dog.”

“You want a dog?” Jensen laughed a little and ruffled his hair. “Well, we’ll see about that. We kind of still want you to ourselves right now.”

“’Kay.” Jared yawned, closing his eyes and considering the conversation done with.

Jensen just chuckled a little and finished rinsing him off. “All done big boy, time for bed."

 


	7. Home

With sigh, Misha turned over in bed and reached to turn off the light on the side table, then slipped down under the covers, rolling to face Jensen. They lay there quietly for a moment, simply breathing each other in and reflecting. Eventually Misha moved closer, a hand grabbing Jensen’s underneath the blankets and gently massaging his palm.

“How was work?” Misha’s voice was whisper soft, like he might wake Jared from all the way down the hall.

“Fine.” Jensen said quietly. “Good, knowing I have you two waiting here for me.”

Misha smiled gently, but his voice was serious. “Have they asked about Jared?”

Jensen sighed a little, a bit of disgruntlement creeping into him. “Its been ‘noted’ that he has been absent for the first two months of classes.” Even in the dark, Misha could tell Jensen was rolling his eyes. “Student Life Resources called his parents. Of course they haven’t seen or heard from him – but since hes a young male, the school won’t take any official action until his parents do. And his parents ‘haven’t decided’ what they want to do yet.” 

“Are you serious?” Misha’s eyes widened and he squeezed Jensen’s palm a little tightly.

“So theres an unofficial world out among the staff, but otherwise, no one is officially looking. And Jared isn’t officially missing.” 

“I still don’t understand how parents could be so cruel.” Misha’s voice was a little louder and he turned over onto his back, glaring up at the ceiling. The frustration was mounting more than ever, even more than when Jared had first told him about his falling out with his family. Sure this meant less trouble for them, but the fact that Jared’s previous parents couldn’t even bother to look for their son? Misha was even gladder that they had taken Jared away from them – so that he could be loved and cherished for as long as he deserved.

“Hey, hey – its alright, Misha.” Jensen shuffled himself closer o his partner, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders – bringing him in close. He gently kissed the older man’s neck, massaging his arm as he tried to calm him down. It was late, they were both tired and there was no need to get worked up. 

“No, its not alright, Jensen! Not this!” Misha turned suddenly to face him, putting a hand on Jensen’s cheek. “Not what your parents did to you. None of it.” 

Jensen blinked rapidly, slightly taken a back. His hand drifted to Misha’s waist as he stroked the skin underneath his night shirt.

“What? Misha, that was so long ago…” 

“That doesn’t make it right, Jen!” Misha said, pressing on. “These parents were given the gift of wonderful children and they just throw it away over something stupid like who they kid loves! What kind of parent does that?”

Jensen was quiet for a while, listening to Misha’s deep breaths as he tried to let the silence introduce some calm in the atmosphere. Finally he nodded a little against the pillow and spoke. “You are right. That’s not how a parent should act. But Misha we can’t keep bringing up the past like that.” He paused and took a deep breath. “As much as it hurts that my parents couldn’t accept me.  If they hadn’t kicked me out, I wouldn’t have met you. I wouldn’t be here with you and our baby boy.”

Misha nodded and leaned in for a gently kiss. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his forehead against Jensen’s. “I know.”

“We’re going to give Jared all the love he deserves, okay?” Jensen smiled warmly. “That’s what a good family does.”

Misha hummed lightly as he rolled on top of Jensen, looking down at him with a mixture of sadness, adoration and pride. He knew there was a reason he had fallen for the stubborn loner so long ago – and times like these really made him remember just what the two of them had been through to get this point. Everything had been so wrapped up in _Jared_ lately, that thinking about them and their relationship had been almost forgotten. The older man couldn’t help but smile softly as he leaned down to kiss Jensen gently, gasping a little as his partner put a warm hand on his neck and pulled him closer – deepening the kiss. A spark of heat igniting between them – warm, and foreign and lovely all the same.

They shifted together easily – even being out of practice for months couldn’t erase years of their bodies working in tandem. Jensen’s lknee shifted between Misha’s legs and their bodies pressed together – flush, but still not close enough. They finally parted for breath, but Jensen held Misha’s head – refusing to let him go less than a few inches away.  Misha could see a heat in Jensen’s eyes, the same heat that poured through his body – made him feel too hot and too cold at the same time. Need burned with him, and he shivered as he felt Jensen’s hand slide underneath his shirt – palm gliding over the skin of his stomach, up to his chest. Misha growled lowly and leaned down to claim Jensen’s mouth for another rough kiss – purposely rolling his hips against the younger man’s. Satisfied by the moan that Jensen released against his mouth.

Misha nipped at Jensen’s lips (beautiful fucking lips) – before kissing down his neck, taking his time to nip and suck and claim. Jensen would be grumpy about the marks in the morning – but Misha could honestly careless. Jensen coworkers knew he was taken – though Misha had no problem putting reminders all over his partner every once and a while. He could hardly contain his own gasps as they began to move against each other, slowly and languidly – their cocks filling slowly as the pleasure mounted like a slow boiling kettle.

It was just as Jensen reached to pull off Misha’s shirt that the crackle started by the bedside. Followed by shuffling and a soft, muffled whine. Both Jensen and Misha froze instantly, unsure in their current state as they heard the restless movements and sounds over the baby monitor. Jensen dropped his hands from Misha’s shirt and closed his eyes, groaning a little as the sounds continued to filter into their room. Misha felt suddenly exposed and _wrong_ , as he rolled off of Jensen. The baby monitors weren’t designed o be a two-way device, but the fear that Jared might have heard them was still sitting there unpleasantly in the back of his mind as he smoothed out his clothes and tried to will his half hard-on away. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Jensen whispered, eyes still closed. But there was no heat to his voice, just resignation and acceptance.

“Well sooner or later we’ll have to invest in a babysitter.” Misha said, a slight smile appearing as he turned on one of the lights. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Call if you need anything.” Jensen yawned, easily ready to get back to sleeping now that his body was no longer revved up for sex.

Misha nodded and padded out of the room, down the hall to Jared’s room.  It would have been easy to ignore the boy’s cries if this were the early stages again, but this was a few months in. Jaredly rarely made noise when he was in his crib for the night.  Sometimes a bit of shuffling or moving – but never actual whimpering or crying. Not to mention jared had been unusually affectionate and willing today – and Misha didn’t want to risk it by looking like they abandoned Jared in his time of need. Gong to him now would prove that they cared about him, day or night – sleep or no sleep. Not to mention Misha valued any time he got to spend with his baby boy.

Misha went to the crib, even the dark instinctively knowing where everything was. Jared was moving around, soft muffled cries coming from his mouth. He was chewing fiercely on his pacifier, and Misha was tempted to take it away from him just incase he actually somehow managed to rip it and accidently swallow it. But the pacifier seemed to be the only thing keeping Jared somewhat quiet at the moment – so he let it slide. 

“I’m here Jay-bean.” Misha’s voice was a little rough and he ran his hand through Jared’s hair, which had grown significantly since the first cut. “Can you tell me whats wrong?”

All he gets are more sniffles and a whimper, and goes to turn on the light so that he can better get an idea of whats going on with the boy. Once the light is on, Misha looks over and sees Jared sitting up in his crib, looking over at him with wide and startlingly awake eyes. His clothes are rumpled from moving around so much, and his jaw is clenched around the pacifier in his mouth like a lifeline. He looks so upset, and Misha immediately rushes to him and lowers the side of the crib. 

“Are you alright, baby boy?” As soon as Misha sits, Jared leans into his side, grabbing at Misha’s nightshirt and sniffling against his shoulder. “Did you use your diaper? Let me check…”

Jared shakes his head rapidly, scooting a little closer and Misha stops on his way to checking. Jared didn’t like sitting in his mess anymore than any baby would, and always let them know when he had gone in his diaper.  That didn’t make solving this problem much easier though. 

Humming gently, Misha stroked the boy’s hair, considering as he felt Jared relax against him. He had been unusually clingy today and it could be that he was just feeling lonely tonight. The idea sent a little thrill though Misha’s body – the fact that Jared would actively want their presence instead of just tolerating it. With a gentle smile, he tipped back Jared head, looking at the boy’s hazel eyes. He seemed so innocent, and grateful in that moment, and Misha knew he couldn’t just leave him like this.

“Were you lonely? Is that it?” Misha asked softly, a little surprised when Jared nodded slowly. The boy’s grip on his shirt only tightened as Misha stroked his hair. “How about you sleep with us tonight, hm?”

Jared responded with a soft whimper as he bent his head to rub his face against Misha’s neck. Misha couldn’t say no at this point, it wasn’t like he was planning on it anyway, but their baby was just about breaking his heart right now and he had no idea why. Honestly it could just be a bad night, nothing significant or life changing – but still, Misha didn’t particularly care. He would much rather have Jared close to him if something was truly wrong than presume otherwise.

“C’mon, baby boy. You have to let go of me.” He tugged gently as Jared’s clenched fists, trying to make his voice as soothing as possible. “You can come sleep with me and Papa Jensen, but you have to crawl there, okay? I’ll be with you the whole time.” 

Unfortunately, Misha was far too tired and it was far too late for him to even attempt to try and carry Jared anywhere. And he wasn’t about to call Jensen out of bed for this. This was the whole reason they had got Jared crawling in the first place, after all.

With what looked like a huge amount of effort on Jared’s part, the boy finally let go of Misha’s shirt and slid out of the crib onto the carpeted floor. He blinked his hazel eyes up at Misha, still sucking on his Pacifier, but looking a lot less likely to cry. Misha leaned down and patted his head before leading the way out of Jared’s room and to the master bedroom, making sure not to walk to fast less Jared get upset again.

“Misha?” Jensen’s voice came from the bed, groggy as though he were on the verge of falling asleep. “S’everything okay?”

“Uh huh.” Misha said quietly, smiling as he beckoned for Jared to climb up into bed. “Just move over a bit.” 

Jensen agreed softly and shuffled over closer to the other side, eyes still closed as he assumed Misha was climbing in with him. He felt a weight settle next to him, and he instinctively reached a hand out for his Partner. 

“Hows baby?” He mumbled, finding silky smooth hair on the pillow next to his and stroking gently. 

“Right next to you.” Misha’s voice was farther away than whose ever head was touching, and Jensen cracked open an eye to see that Jared was curled up tightly right next to him, sucking on his pacifier with his eyes closed tightly. Squinting, Jensen then looked over at Misha who was just climbing into bed.

“What? Not that I’m complaining, but…?” He prompted, waiting for the explanation.

“I went in and he was just upset.” Misha explained quietly as he brought the covers up over Jared and then climbed under them himself. Scooting closer to the boy, he ran his thumb down his cheek. “I tried to figure out what was wrong. But he was just holding onto me and wouldn’t let go. We both needed sleep and he didn’t want to be away from me, so… I figured this was our best bet.” 

“Hmn..” Jensen nodded, satisfied and closed his eyes, hand still idly stroking Jared’s hair. “As long as he doesn’t think it’s a regular thing.”

“Sure.” Misha replied easily, trying not to laugh. He knew as well as anyone that Jensen would be ecstatic if it turned out Jared wanted to sleep in their bed every night. Finally he turned out the light next to them and draped his arm over his sleeping boy and drifted off to sleep.

 

 

**Epilogue**

His belly is soft and gentle now, having lost most of the muscle mass that once made up his body. There are days when Jared feels excruciatingly thick and slow, and days when he feels light and unsteady. But most days, Jared really can’t bring himself to care what he looks like or what he may or may not weigh. Because that isn’t his _job,_ and Jensen and Misha don’t really seem to care either way. Jared knows for a fact that Jensen loves his new soft belly, and takes the opportunity to blow a raspberry in it every time he changes Jared’s clothes. It always tickled; despite Jared’s determination not let it bother him. Jensen is funny in that way – considering Jared used to think he was so serious.

Jared’s previous encounters with Misha and Jensen are slowly fading away, as the amount of months he has spent with them as a baby begin to creep past the amount he had known them _before._ Jensen and Misha never really talk about _before_ , and Jared can’t really bring it up. He isn’t supposed to know about _before_ and the sooner he forgets _before_ the sooner he will be happier. 

There are times when he sits in front of the TV, watching one of the movies that Misha puts in for him that he remembers glimpses of before. He remembers a hot sun, two big rowdy dogs and a big backyard. And there are people who he knows he could put a name to, but doesn’t want to. Because thinking of _before_ always makes Jared sad, and its hard to figure out why. Sometimes he cries, and Jensen or Misha will hold him and they don’t ask whats wrong, they just seem to know. When that happens, they wrap him in his vanilla-scented blankets and put his sleepmask on and give him his pacifier and put cotton in his ears and let him just forget. 

He wakes up and they are there, smiling and waiting for him. Hes never felt this loved in his life, even if he doesn’t care to remember _before_ , he knows it was never like this. 

Never this unconditional, never this pure.

Misha and Jensen have so many plans for him, and he can’t wait to see what happens next. 

Because they are the best thing to ever happen to him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: So this is my first fanfiction in forever, as well as the first that has anything to do with Supernatural. This idea came to me after reading all the infantilism fills on the Supernatural kinkmeme, specifically 'A Family Christmas' by whiskygalore, which was the first infantilism fic I ever read. Then I did a bunch of research, then just went a head and started writing. This is completely Un-beta'd. I did my best, but theres bound to be tons of mistakes. If any wants to offer to beta, I'd be okay with that. Otherwise, enjoy!


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